New Year? What year?

I actually quitted blogging from the middle of 2005, but then since my life had rocked so hard that I want to find a way tell everyone about me, so here goes. Since u morons reading this probably was too curious or too free, I will try to make this as amusing as possible (nic, enjoy).

First of all, we have to give our thanks to the world for all the wonderful stuff we got. I know I have some thanks to give...But most of it goes to one particular group...The Society. Now, since I was not taught the truth of life in my family, I learned it from the show Becker, and of course, now he is my role model. Society is a cleverly created monster spawning monster that spawns people like

The thief who stole my phone,
the funny guy who broke in my car and took my ipod, and forgot to say thanks,
perfectionist asses,
people who try to control other peoples life from any aspect
people who want the best for you, but do not know if the best actually works.

And also to other people who I forgot to mention. Because they are so significant in an insignificant way, I decided to let the others(ie, people reading this) to enjoy their significance when these people appear.

And also, let's not forget how society spawned our insignificantly-significant-lings. First, society began with the human race...Just like the Olympics, which began with a little kid in Rome running against hungry tigers in the Collosseum. Then , society had to add in more spectacular show to please the audience, like hurdles and javelin, academic races and career. And he world is a critic when it comes to this. People who are average achievers get the typical hair dryer treatment when underachievers, and the clever geeks(such as myself, not to say what) get nothing for performing and all the death sentences when performing in a form that others dream off. O, how i love you for this society.

And then there is people who knows what is best for you. Thye want you to study hard. Just like them, and expect you to achieve greatness. But, lol, they are the one who study hard and so on and did whatever they did, but are still complaining about bills.

And at this point, I got lazy. Not because of anything, because the Scrubs album sucks....(except for Lazlo Bane's Superman) and also I am a apathetic ass, who can give a whole lot of dam whether this article is hanging or not. and also, blogging is not for people like me who wanna talk too much, so i decided to do it orally. And here is one to society, MAK KAU TAK AJAR MACAM MANA MAU JADI SOCIETY KE? (Didn't your mom taught you how to be society?)

Sky Kingdom theme song

Young man, if u r feeling to free,
i said young man, if u r a polygamist,
u can go to,the Terenganu state
to meet up with people like u

Young man, if u r feeling sick,
i said young man, if panadol doesn't work,
or u got cancer, from too much gudang garam
the cerek is always there for u

Or u can go see A-y-a-h
U can always see A-y-a-h

he is Ayah Pin,
or also ariffin,
or whatever u call him

A-y-a-h
u gotta meet the A-y-a-h

He has got sky kingdom,
Foreigner students,
and also a big a tea pot

Jakim, u better stay out of this
i say jakim, u get ur butt out of this,
i say jakim, build more pretty masjid
just like the one by shah jahan

People, pls dun use ISA
I say ISA, is for terrorism,
u cant catch him, even if u will try,
he can vanish into thin air

Dun u mess with A-y-a-h
u dun mess with A-y-a-h.

he is spreading no cult,
just bringing in peace
thru cultural integration

A-y-a-h
u gotta let him be what he is

he's got 4 wives
legal in islam,
and also he prays 5 times!!!

ooh RAfidah,
if u r facing problems come la,

he will advice u,
on how to deal with Tun,
and all those AP problems

A-y-a-h
just meet a=y=a=h

he is ayah pin,
he will solve all ur probs
and then u can go on!!!!

My College Sucks

Just my ranting about my college, it sucks, and i m not going to risk being sued, so i will spare the details, so here goes:

My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks
My College Sucks

And it goes on..........

Chick of The Week

Knowing that many people won't be getting a Miss _____(please fill in the blanks), I have decided to give my own award, rather than giving it based on the looks and brains, I have decided to give it somebody who has special criteria. After a few weeks, then you will know the criteria. The chick of the week last week was:

Anna from H.U.C.: For being plain cute.
Description : Just for being the best in my whole class, yoong chuen was caught in her web for about 1 minute before returning to WLC.

Li Ven : for having a Paris Hilton body
Description: If anyone of you have seen The Simple Life(I believe none of you fall in this category) you WILL notice that PAris has a nice body but small boobs. Li Ven is nearly the same, but liven is special because she falls in the FWK's(fook, wai mun and kok wui) 4 part rules, which is the looks of Shook Lin, the Boobs of Suyin, and THE BODY OF LIVEN, and the attitude of Lih Theng. So now, we have Paris agaisnt our own Liven.

Jojo: Looking older than madonna...really, u look at her videos and she looks like she is 50.....with botox

Atomic Betty : plain cute....better than Anna, or anything u call cute.

Esther: coolest pic in friendster, updated, so not boring at all!!!!;-}

Clown Going For Degree in "Sin Ka"logy

After listening to wai mun, i realize that psychology is actually very abstract, thus "Sin Ka"(made up) a bit. The lecturer asked me,"What do you want a degree in?" and I answered"Sin Ka"logy". From That day on, Psychology in Help will forever be dubbed as SinKalogy, thanks to Clown.

PS: Clown said this to the Head Of Psychology of HELP, Dr. Goh Chee Leong, and The councellor of The Business department, Miss Lena Choong.

Clown Legend Strikes Back, and This Time In HELP

After 6 hours of sitting through a briefing in HELP "UNIVERSITY COLLEGE", I know finally have the wisdom, the answer, to Malaysia's biggest mystery. The reason, the factor, the answer, to why graduates with "honours" do not get jobs. They do not need it. They have gold in their mouth!!!!!!!!!!

Started of normally, where everybody was soooooo excited, then the lecturers starts to give their introduction. They begin the ever popular and cliche phase of speech, the " ASK THE AUDIENCE". "What do you want to be?" To make sure nobody knows that these freshmen has gold in their mouth, they shut it. The lecturers took desperate manouver to make them speak out. Only one clown made noise, the others, trying to keep the treasure in their mounth safe, chose to shut theirs. Then, the clown and his sidekick, went on with the session by making so much of noise, making merry along the way. Now this clown and his side kick is now popular as the Inferior Noise Making Duo. Which of course, the others did not say it, because the treasure in their mouth must be kept properly. The Duo, now the most popular clowns, went on with their studies.

Guess What? Your Aunty's/Mother's Cousin's Friend's/ etc Advice Is Worthless

We all hate it when our so called superior, aka "relatives", gives us so called good advices. Some loser's tell us how to get rich, while other flunkers teach us effective study methods. We meet them very often, and we wish that we have a way to shut them up. When we try to argue their points with stronger reason, they shut us back up with their authority, usually to close realtives, their superior age, and others, they bitch to your parents. So this is they part where today's blog comes in. I have face and whoop these problems many times, and why do I always win? Because I am a twister of reasons. And also I am soooooo much smarter and experienced than them. But how? They are so damned old, and they experienced soooooo much. The answer is, my friends, is that experiences can be bought.

What? I thought You can only buy sex service experiences, not those that those old guys have.
That is one of the freaking myth that the older people want you to think. You do not need to be old to be experienced. Books can be bought. Those are considered experience. Although you have never been through that, some one else have. So go buy a book or two.

What? They won't accept that? then use your brain to poke them where is hurts. If they are poor, poke thgem by telling them why they are poor. I learned that from Rich Dad Poor Dad. I go around telling those aunties why they will never get rich, and then they put on a sour face and then shuts up.

This is so much fun, when you can shut some thi kosong up. Hahahaha, so don't do around giving people useless advice unless you have done it and are successful. It just hurts the ear and leave a bad remark.

I Met My Love On Friendster, NOT!!!

Was logging on to friendster one day( I know, I condemned it, so what? it's free..), checking out whatever message i have,(all my friends online is also reality fiends) and then suddenly I got a...what was that again...oh, "friend request". This phrase is preposterous. I don't know who will want to request to be friends. Most of you online were just trying for "Hot Looking girl/boys request". Or maybe "I need a new boyfriend/girlfriend" So i just clicked on it, got on, and oh, shin yi. Personally I already know about.....4 shin yis in real life. But maybe it is one of them, so I accepted and asked her, " Which Shin yi are you?" Well, the answer was given and now I officially know Shin yis.....

That is not my point. The point will appear as you read on. After making sure who she was, I sent her this "SO, how far do you want this friendship to go?"

This is the question I ask to all Friendster users. You get a person as your "friend", but they just stay there as your friend. No message, no nothing, just stays there. Maybe some of of you would go and ask them out. But most of them just stays there.

And then there is the outcasts. from what Friendster says, make friends with everyone!! but i know some who paste their pics...and are not good looking, has no request. Yeah, that is true. Shallow ASSES.

So now i m on, on again to go against online friendship.....

Ads that have Gone Bad(updated)

It was a no wonder that Malaysian filming industry is still stuck somewhere in Timbuktu. Horrible ads were showed on TV everytimeyou turn it on. It was as if the creative team were so twisted that a deranged hyper active girl was a good PR. As if that wasn't bad enough, international ads did not escape the twisted surgeons of the Malaysian ad team. Sammi Cheng and some singer had their voice changed into some artillery and bomb loving psycho's. Piang piang and pom pom. Tank you creative team for making the my ad session a bore.

Horrible ads list(will be updated):

1. Most of the children snack ads. They feature some sad child and suddenly proving the snack deadly in sugar content by turning them into a jumping hyper active monster jumping up ad down. And most of the time some mascot appear and dance with them.
2. Some ads featuring Sammi Cheng, Jessica Hester Suen, and another star (i m not supposed to say which ad, or i will get my ass sued). They get horrible voice remake and as if they promoting weapons, they go piang piang and pom pom. I guess you know which by now.
3. The ad for a children show sponsored by a fried chicken selling company. They take a good clip from a cartoon and add in a chicken with suspenders making it "look" like the chicken is in "action" with them. From my point of view, the chicken is like an outcast character. He acts like he is in the action, but the main characters don't care whatever he is doing, much like a dork in the popular group.
4. All ads in Channel 34 of Astro, or Xing He. I don't know why, but i just hate all those bunch of crap. Especially the one with the clock and and thge couple eating. All the music sucks and they just can't do anything right, Some martial art crap and a twinkle stars later....hate became anger.

Racial Unity Is Strength!!!

Do not judge a blog by it's title. This article has nothing to do with promoting unity, just an update to my lost phone story and to show that racism is coming to an end in Malaysia. Our G is making such a progress that even thiefs supports anti racism.

It was one day at work when my friend called my lost number. Then after waiting and a bit of talking, he told me some chinese guy was using that phone. He asked me if I mistook a good guy for a crook. Certainly not, but i bet they are a gang.

See, we don't have to worry about racism in Malaysia. Crooks are helping us reach Wawasan 2020. There are Vision School projects (but I still see people wearing "Build Chinese Schools, not VIsion School" shirts in Kepong). So stop with the non racism propaganda, we are already bangsa Malaysia. Proof??:

1. We all know how to deal with traffic police the chinese way.
2. We all buy lottery tickets from indian direct sellers.
3. Toto, Damacai(that is crap) and Magnum is our national pastime.
4. We won't bet on Malaysia even if it is Mas VS Tranvestites from Thai in a football match.
5. The most popular deity is the Malay Datuk(yes dudes, he is a Malay, notice the songkok and baju Melayu)
6. We all hate the Malaysian Censorship Board.

The list goes on and on and on and on.........................................................

I Suggest Potong Tangan To Tangan Panjangs

Ok, profanities ahead....Please go away if you can't take it.This article is written with anger.

I was going home from work, in a freaking Rapidkl(which was freaking slow) numbered 56. Then as i reached the KL Stadium, some ass blocked the exit and caused me to be squeezed by the other freaking passenggers. Then it happened. Suddenly my Ngage QD, which was playing the mp3 hope "you will never grow old" by cranberries stoped singing. Little that i know some fucked up Malay bastards whose their mom forget to bring them up properly was taking my phone in the chaotic situation. it was only then when i touched my pocket that i knew my phone was gone. I began pressing the bell frantically, as the bus has not moved yet, but noooo, the fucked up bus driver who obviously failed his courtesy test(which he then bought it) Won't even open the door. Jack asssssss.

I got down the other station, ran back, and those bastards whose dad was a pimp and mother who was a whore was gone. MA CHau HAI.

Ok, as usual, now we start pointing fingers. We start with me. o, other than carelessness, nothing else. Then, the others:

Fucked up bunch of Malay Crooks who forgot that they were always saying about budi bahasa and Allah: These asses should be sent to hell by Allah for disgracing him and let them rot there. Abdullah and Nik Aziz should hunt them down and cut off their tangan panjang to shorten it and as a proof that the long arms of law is longer. They should also have haemorrhoids for the rest of their lives and their genitals rot slowly. May Allah,Jesus,Siva,Buddha(he will sure tell me about karma), Kuan Kong (hope his blade slices through them), and all other Gods in this world grant my wish. Thanks Big Guys. May them be fucked by a horde of Ah Kuas.

The Bus driver who do not know how to serve and bought his bus driving license:
I could have got my phone back if he would just opened the door, cause i saw those crooks grinning with their soon to be rottng mouth. But noo, I was too busy, so i will have to sacrifice you. As the verdict, he is guilty and should be stoned by angry bus riders to death.

The Malay Auntie that said "Iyelah, masa tolak tolak tu," when i said i got preyed:
Oh just shut up.

The crooks parents: Sorry for calling you pimps and hos, but still, you are disgraced by your son for you did not taught him well. If guys were dead long time ago, this goes to their caretakers.

The religious leaders: You have not done your work, so you will suffer a little.

In the end, machau hai to all the crooks.

An Apple A Day!!!

This is funny. We keep as promoting apples instead of durian or manggis to kids, poisoning their minds. I thought Adam and Eve were banished out of paradise, thus damning us to do good forever to gain access to heaven, because a freaking reptile asked them to taste the apple? Won't promoting apple bring us further away from the Almighty??

Quakes, Tsunami but We Still Get Our Party!!!

The world was shocked,as how Arafat would say concerning the 911 bombings if you still remember, by a tsunami that came crashing down on the coast of our friendly neighbourhood Indon that provided us with much leisure(u know, maids, in french maid uniforms), India and Sri Lanka and Penang(which proves reviving Penang was a bad idea, even worse is the ad) and some other insignificant areas (likePenang). And then the light side of humans started to play the major role, Presidents asking their countries to contribute, others collect money, and other aid they can get. Aunties and uncles start telling stories bout their friend's friend's adventure in Indon in good old coffee houses. As for me, i had no feeling about this. Years before, I was thinking that a huge massacre should happen to help reduce the human population and my wish was grated by the waters, but i still help out by donating. But my surroundings had an expected change. As usual, the I-Know-All-Therefore-I-Am-Superior starts telling people funny stories(being part of the Aunty Uncle Association, it is normal). Stories about fortune tellers telling people about the sea is predicted to swallow people la, "i m going to donate old stuff and cash la", and other stuff, you know the drill. Tv channels were changed from the usual Wah Lai Toi and people sacrificed their Annamalai and Kungumum to watch CNN's video clips of the tsunami. Now, usually you would expect people to be shocked by the scene and do not wish to see more of the videos showing death and destruction, they liked it. All the video clips was repeated again and again (for example that fat Indian lady weeping), but they still took it and gave their funny comments, like...(stated before). And they just couldn't get enough.

So to celebrate the death of the people and saving the governments monet, Pak Lah canceled the New Year party everywhere. But hey, Malaysians are born natural party animals. they showed their compassion by going to clubs so that they can console the Indon "friends"(SPG) by tipping and .....hoi, you know what happens next. Others who are less wealthy gang up and create our own tsunami of china-made fake snow and....happy strings (the names are stupid). I myself had a BBQ at home. Told you i was a sadistic ass.

Check out more of the party in my mentor's site http://www.mycen.com.my/duasen/010105_praty.html

As time goes on, this tsunami would prove useful in clearing out over-populated countries. Teachers have thought us about these countries and told me that this must be taken cared with (not the tsunami, the overpopulation). And thank you mother nature, we may finally see a drop in invading Indon immigrants being either :

1. Afraid of another tsunami hit while in the middle of the ocean trying to move their sampan towards Malaysia,
2. Job oppotunities in Banda Aceh as crenator, Namo Lou and other jobs related to death.

As for me, I see hope in this natural disaster. Chinese says water is money ma, so good la, money coming in. But they also say small money don't go out, big money cant come in, so please donate to the nearest donation centre.

Nursery Rymes for Adults

Being a guy who gets all his crap from his surroundings i got this nursery rhyme from my baby cousin's lulaby song. I used to think that Nic and Poh would make a great match, was thinking bout it, and suddenly the TV goes "Polly put the kettle on". and so, i got it.Here goes:-

(Segala adalah rekaan semata-mata, tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau yang mati atau yang dapat banyak A dalam SPM ataupun dari rimba. Kalau ada pun adalah ......well....just coincidence(ala HVD)

Poh Lynn turned Nicholas on,
PohLynn turned Nicholas on,
Poh Lynn turned Nicholas on,
And they got laid.

May Lynn pissed him off again,
May Lynn pissed him off again,
May Lynn pissed him off again,
By telling Pik Han.

Pik Han spread to all his wives,
Raccoon, Tupai and Bunny,
Pik Han spread to all his wives,
And they got their "choy tou"(vegetable knife)

They got revenge for Tommy Chai,
They retrieved back his small collar,
How did they get it back?
By gutting him.

Our collection of Malaysian "Playboy", with no pictures 

It says "Balasan Dosa Lakukan Onani, Timun Patah Dalam Kemaluan Lesbian". What about dosa memaparkan bahan "merangsang"? 

Sex with human in books is porno. With dogs, it's incestuous beastiality. What about a sting ray?

Playboy With No Nudity

Our kiasu neighbour, Singapura, has playboy for sale. While we, as an Islamic country, banned all stuff that has any porno stuff (although there are a lot of Golden Hair in pasar malams or Petaling Street asking "Leng Chai, want buy pon or not?"). But then hey!! We are Malaysians!! We know how to escape law!! We can publish books about the "paranormal", which is a camouflage for sex stories!!!! And that what we did.

Every newspaper stand we go, there is a corner specially made for these books. Popular mags like Mastika has a very "paranormal" title, such as "Seks Dengan Jin", or "Cacing Keluar dari Kemaluan". See, it's very paranormal, nothing to do with sex. But then there are those daredevils, as seen in the pictures. And now after decades of "Dasar Pandang Timur"( or tengaok porno dari Jepun), we finally has our own genre of porn!!! I know that some of you sick people watches human with animals. Ha, take that Japan!! we take it to the extreme by having sex with not only dogs and chicken(yeap, that was on Kazaa, according to Yi Jeat), we also have goats and even big fish!!! Who says being a nelayan doesn't pay much???

My Eye's Avenue

Sometimes I just love the M.O.Education. They make all the female students wear see through upper uniforms, especially when they are old. I was inspired to write this when I was sitting for my exam,when i was distracted when the sun's morning ray kinda made a wayang kulit of my friend's cleavage. She was kinda having a ....good figure. And then the thought of Fook Choy struck me and voila, here it is. Due to the fact that this might be a case of sexual harassment, no pictures included....haha

My Eye’s Avenue(Parody of Ocean Avenue)

Darn the sun today is shining bright,
Fabrics penetrated by the sun’s bright light,
Oh my God I have two wanderin’ eyes
Looking at thing’s I shouldn’t see, through light
Looking through clothes with the help of, light

Should stop myself from doing this,
But Fook Choy told me to do as I please,
Look through all those shirts made of thread,
Just like all those letters that I, read,
Oh Lord help me or I’m, dead

If I don’t stop looking now,
My nose will start bleeding,
Stop letting light shine through,
For it’s distracting,
I can’t concentrate on my homework and studies yeah.

Back in the days when I was studying in 3B,
Sat behind so that I can always see,
Through the side of their side-split pinafore,
Looking through shirts till our eyes, sored
Saw everything until we were , bored


If I don’t stop looking now,
My nose will start bleeding,
Stop letting light shine through,
For it’s distracting,
I can’t concentrate on anything I am doing,
Kinda hate it though,
Though I am enjoying,
So let’s enjoy the show.

Closed for Renovation

Due to the SPM thingy, i have to stop blogging and start reading, but i shall be back, at least by 8 of December.

"SAYA MAU KAMU!"...Pak Cik Sam

Having such a "successful" blog made me take a further step. I made another blog. But this time, it has noting to do with the world, only about the tainted bahasa and the holy war to save it. It has been quite obvious that BM is having a big war just to stay clean. I can't elaborate, so just visit http://jihadbm.blogspot.com or click the link in the links section in the index. Enjoy.

Nilai-Nilai Murni Encik Amin

As SPM draws closer, my school makes a last attempt to help the Malaysians who can't speak Malay to pass their exams. And so, today, I was unwillingly drawn into this.....scheme. And so, I sat for the Pendidikan Moral paper. In the third question, I find myself hardly able to control my laughther after modifying the questions and answers. Here is the question

3. Encik Amin yang tinggal berdekatan dengan sempadan negara mendapati bahawa terdapat kes penyeludupan beras dari negara jiran ke negara kita. Dia telah melaporkan kes ini kepada pihak berkuasa dan penyeludup ini telah berjaya ditangkap dan dijatuhkan hukuman setimpal.

After a little reality check, the REAL question should sound like this......

3. Encik Amin yang tinggal berdekatan dengan sempadan negara mendapati bahawa terdapat kes penyeludupan beras dari negara jiran ke negara kita. Dia telah melaporkan kes ini kepada pihak berkuasa dan penyeludup ini telah berjaya ditangkap dan dijatuhkan hukuman setimpal. Mayat Encik Amin ditemui di Sungai Golok pada keesokan harinya.

Due to the fact that the paper is not with me, the sub questions and answers will be given later........in the sequel.

And so, should we really check our our school syllabus. Why not change Pendidikan Moral to Pendidikan Hidup dalam Realiti.

(to be continued)

Malaysians, the Party People

These few days, the Darfur children has become one of the selling points of The Star. Of course, being kind and compassionate rakyat Malaysia, we should always show our kindness and love of world peace. And to do that, what is better than a big old party? And guess what? This is a charity auction party. Now let's see a prediction by me:

1. First of all, a wrestling super star is here, accompanied by local stars
2. There will be an auction,
3. Admission is free

And so, this must help to raise lots right? No, it will not. With thousands of rich and poor visiting Bintang Walk(sounds strange) daily, I doubt if the collected cash would reach the 7 figure point. Why is that? Well, because we Malaysians are pure party people, and we love free parties especially the ones from the middle and lower class. We do not really care about those middle eastern people, we just want to party. It is just that we are such good actors that it looks like we appreciate the theme. And for a small example, check this out. Remember the "We Want Peace" party? All we did for world peace was scream "We Want Peace" for a few minutes, and then we lay back and enjoy the show. And then what happen? We enjoyed the dazzling fireworks in the middle east. Our party did not even the attention from CNN, unlike the protest everywhere else in the world.

And also, we hate to touch the insides of our pockets. The only reason guys put their hands in to their pocket is only to scratch their itching crotch. Just like a dinner my school had, some fun loving stingy ass who do not want to cough up RM30 to donate to the school to build something useful appeared at the party fully dressed, equipped with face skin as thick as a safe's wall. The Malay( I swear I am not a racist) guys won't even bring their aweks to places like starbucks. Instead, they sit beside Titiwangsa, claiming that it is romantic, because a cup of coffee in Starbucks cost more than Rm10. And also, because it is dark they can always bonk under the moon.

Remember rumah terbuka also? The locals swarmed the food and finished it. And I thought the food was for the Guai Lo. What happened to the "hospitality" of Malaysians? Down with Indah Water,I think.Hehe

Ke"desperate"an teenage IE users

I am a darn daredevil. I know he consequences of writing this article. I will be stalked by unknown people, be dragged up a van, beaten up like your mom making fish balls, and in the end, being thrown off Tanjung Rachado. If you are using a lot of friend finding software and services.... you shouldn't be reading this. If you go to cybercafe just to turn on your ICQ, you are out also. As for you people who has a instant messenger to keep in touch with your friends only...I guess it's okay unless you are those "perasan" type. This article is to :-

1. to tell people of what Malaysian(or in fact the world, but I don't see others do this before, though they are the founders) are doing in order to help reach the 70 million population rate.

2. To stop those screwed chain mails that I don't forward(yes,I don't) from entering my inbox(they are crap)

Ever since last year, I have been living somewhere in Cheras-Ampang border. And of course, being a game junkie, the first thing I look for the the nearest cybercafe. And when i begin to use the services there, I suddenly realized what most of the patrons are doing...they are bugging unknown people in the net and trying out some cupid's touch. Well, I don't mean everybody, but most of them are punk like, sneaker wearing and really lonely teenage 'Mayau's. Those who know me, you can call me to ask what is a mayau(this service is limited to only those who know me, those that got me through the net don't count). I thought this happens only in cybercafes, but slowly, I begin to see the bigger picture. Everybody is trying their luck not only in the net, but also on TV station through SMS(50 cents per SMS) and also sometimes through a random phone number(you got to be real lucky). Now, if u can find one through the the latter, curse your ownself for not visiting the closest Toto to buying a lucky combination. They do everything, I know this guy who uses some instant messenger to know girls online. When I check his contacts, all of them seem to be unknown girls and only one guy that is a friend of his.

And also, if you guys read teen magazines, you will know what I mean. Sample question:-

Hi Small Sis. I met this guy in the net and he is wonderful. I never met him before, but he treats me very good and loves me very much. When he asked me to be her girl friend, i accepted although I never met him before because he loves me.We had a date,and on that day, i lost my virginity to him although we met for the first time, because he loves me. And then he never contacted me again. I feel so sad, can you help me?

(direka semata-mata, not the real one, but you can find this in most teenage themed books)

Me? I would ask you to jump off the building with a cut wrist and a rope on your neck. This is crap.And also, wolves prowl around on the net(not me) to look for gullible people and then begins the hunt. It's okay if you had nothing to do, met a few times, became friends and then courtship and in the end, acceptance, but no, this must happen this way, skip everything except courtship and acceptance. And then you don't tell mom, and start asking crap on the mags.

And then the crap e-mails. They say " forward this or your GF/BF will run away". Oh, now the mail has some super power to control minds. And it is not even like it's any good, not much decorated. Stop freaking out already, it's not like you know what is a GF or Bf, in the end, it could only mean Grape Fruit or Big Fish. If you guys are really that desperate, get a few frogs from the local swamp or market, preferably near the castle, and then kiss it. Might get a handsome prince. (Do not copy, link to http://criticsandstuff.blogspot.com)

Moon Hoax

After watching Conspiracy Theories: Did We Land On The Moon, I was very sure that man did not land on the moon. Reason? A whole bunch of pictures of some idiot, a few footprint flaws, and also some scientific crap. Now if this is a big hoax, then Mr. G would have to change general knowledge questions for Form 1(yes, form one, since they claim that most Malaysian suck in general knowledge). I don't know, was it true? Go see for yourself.
http://batesmotel.8m.com/
http://www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicapollo.html
As for the other's who would dear to their believes, this should put in some relieve(hah, my first pun). But the answers are kinda terpesong like Nicholas and Jovan's karangan
http://www.thekeyboard.org.uk/Did%20we%20land%20on%20the%20Moon.htm
Now, based o the crap you read and they said, make up your own mind. But don't go around telling people and forcing them to accept your idea, or you will end up as an ISA detainee......

The Tausi boys, those gray stuff on their hands is their mom's cooking knife 

The jam in "Jalan ke Segambut Dalam" 

Was on my way to kepong last Saturday, and because my mom had a facial appointment(like all those aunties as well), I went alone. Was in 43B, it was a smooth ride, til the freaking "Jalan Ke Segambut Dalam", which was well known for jams that had no reason. And then I saw saw Tausis(Indians) about the age of ten carrying their mom's cooking knife(or stolen from the local shop, I don't know) walking around like......I don't know, Indian an-nes(tai ko). Met many Indians, and most of them walk the same way(not to say I am a racist, most of my friends don't do this). It reminded me about the "walk this way" commercial on 8tv, and they really look like crap(the tausi boys) . Finally, the bus left and i reached my destination. And then, nothing really happened, I went to bed. There was actually a more elaborate version of this story, but I pressed the wrong button, deleted it, got lazy, and went on to the simplified version. I believe this happens to most of the local journalist and civil servants and of course, pak sam jou(literally white sleeves, or traffic police) who are so lazy to write summons, so they keep the money in their pocket that helped funded their needs for rokok from the recent increase of price ;P....

Aku Malaysian, dan cina

I am now officially bored of the 3 kaum utama idea. Every project i do in school, the main idea from the boss is ''Ambil 3 warna untuk mewakili 3 kaum di Malaysia,'' isn't this a lil' unfair towards the other ethnic in Malaysia? What about our signature Singhs and others ?What about the minority in Sarawak? I think they ought to change everything to ''Ambil 2 warna sahaja, untuk Bumi and the nons,'' that sounds a little ''fairer'' to other minorities. This is a cliche I see everywhere in the country. What happened to ''Bangsa Malaysia''?. Apparently the big G has some problem in doing anything they say. They go around saying that ''perpaduan antara kaum adalah matlamat negara,"" but they begin helping most of the malay(alrite, I m not a racist) in many sectors. You get a better chance of getting in a Uni ,if you are a malay. I know, I know, we have more malays in the country. But why with quota? I think they should really let go of that idea and start on building bangsa Malaysia instead going on with 3 warna. A malay driver quoted''Cina memang pandai blaja punya'' Shouldn't he saying..orang malaysia? So, if i so to a foreign country, should I introduce myself as a Malaysian , or a chines, or some sort of hybrid?

The ever progressive G plan

I never thought that I have to remember every little nilai to succeed in my life. Seems that the Ministry of Education is 'implanting' moral values in us through....Text and exams. Heck, if I can learn to be a good citizen that way, my mom wouldn't need to cane me that much, she just needs to send me to a tuition centre for a lesson in Pendidikan moral. Actually I don't mind p.moral, but why in spm? We already have add math and physics (for all those clever asses like me, but not that good that u can pass add math). And they must make it a compulsory subject. So , next time, when I go out, I will have to ask, apakah nilai yang sepatutnya diamalkan oleh penjaga tandas?Please do not copy, link it to http://criticsandstuff.blogspot.com