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    Sunday, August 02, 2009

    Mogok Bin Protes: How a Trick Never Works Thrice

    Back in 1997 in the land of 1Negara.

    Axpeeam: Argh shit. Stupid Jorge Solos brought down 1Negara's economy. Now the people are panicking.

    Aunhua :That will seriously hamper our progress towards Perfect Vision. We need to calm the people, or at least divert their attention elsewhere. Now that the Important Multinational Funder is knocking at our doors, our books will be exposed if we don't divert the attention of the public!

    Axpeeam: But how? This recession is so huge that most Tiger Nations are hurt. There can be no bigger news than the daily random sackings and unpredicted bankruptcies!

    Aunhua :Well, a sex scandal would do the trick.

    Axpeeam: Urgh, that is a bad idea. Sex scandals happen all the time. Just a few weeks also our friend in the White Crib was just caught with his pants down with his secretary. Nothing much also.

    Aunhua : Well, we are more conservative. Let's get a powerful person to do it.

    Axpeeam: Ok, go on...

    Aunhua : And we make it a "konspirasi" thingy.

    Axpeeam: Interesting...

    Aunhua : Then we get his wife and supporters to start a riot and ask for change and reforms. Then get them to protest in a huge scale in Kaeyael. Ooo, that will help us use up our expired tear gas and weapons from the Riot-Which-Will-Be-Remembered-As-A-Date, allowing us to buy better weapons to scare our tiny neighbours to the South. See, we get to kill 3 birds with 1 stone.

    Axpeeam: I like the sound of it, but it know, a kick. A bang. A BOOM. AN ATTENTION GRABBER.

    Aunhua: OH!! WE MAKE HIM GAY! WAHHAHA. WE can laugh all about it also. A POWERFUL fag being sent to prison. That should get the whole world looking.

    Axpeeam: FANTASTIC! Now I can have more time to try saving the economy and keeping out the Important Multinational Funder. Good job. But, who are we going to frame?

    Aunhua: Someone, Importand, Poweful, Charismatic. Someone, who is in line for big things in life, such as being the premier, yet ironically will lose everything. Someone, no one will believe is gay.

    Axpeeam: *looks at Aunhua and smiles*

    Aunhua : Mapet.....

    The rest was history.

    Fast forward to 2007-2008.
    Buddawee: Yo sup!

    Aunhua : You tell me. I was in there stuck being mistaken for a fag. You should see how many inmates were hitting on me. And not to mention the police HITTING me. Damn shit.

    Buddawee: Ou...*stares at the floor looking dejected*

    Aunhua : What is troubling you bro?

    Buddawee: Well, a bubble just popped, and you should know how that will affect us.

    Aunhua : Yeah. Damn, and they are our biggest customers. I bet a lot of our people will lose their jobs. Sad case huh. Such is Capitalism.

    Buddawee : And yeah, I also have not been living up to Axpeeam's reputation as a leader. Sigh.

    Aunhua : Yeah. Not many people can top that guy.

    Buddawee : Well, I need something from you bro.

    Aunhua : Yeah, what is i......Oh shit, not that again.

    Buddawee : I am sorry, but then we seriously need this.

    Aunhua : We just had a big Clean protest that day!

    Buddawee : Well, that was a bad thing for me. It kind of hurt my reputation you know. Dude, I seriously need this. Please "backdoor" someone, please. I seriously need a news to divert this. I don't want to go down as the least contributing premier ever....

    Aunhua : But this wont work again. The context is different.

    Buddawee: We won't know if we don't try! Come on.

    Aunhua : I JUST BLOODY GOT OUT!!!

    Buddawee: Pretty please? *Pikachu eyes*

    Aunhua : No, please. Mahai don't la. WTF. Woi. Deng. Jangan la. O FUCKING KAY LA. I just got this new assistant. But I tell you it won't work. If it doesn't I m gonna clear my name.

    Buddawee : God willing it will! *Gleams*

    God did not will it. It did not bring forth a major riot like the last time. God didn't find it funny this time. The Almighty did something to the elections. Buddawee was soon replaced.


    Aunhua : Yo Nut! Good job on the last AUM NO elections!

    Nut Jeep: Haha, what job? It is expected la.

    Aunhua : But still, you had a tough competition.

    Nut Jeep: You did well too yo. I nearly loss my premiership to you! Kena PWN!

    Aunhua : Aiya GG d la. My Ninth Month thing did not work out. Damn.

    Nut Jeep: Cheer up dude. Always a next time. But I am on a roll man. I am carrying out reforms like nobody's business! Dam cool eh. Look at my approval rating!

    Aunhua : Keep it up bro.

    Nut Jeep: Dude, interested in another little project?

    Aunhua : As long as it doesn't involve another backside, I am fine. Even my wife is beginning to believe the news. Damn.

    Nut Jeep: Uh, I am thinking more like a little, you know, the peaceful Clean rally. We did not clean up all tear gas as before. Need to do some housekeeping.

    Aunhua : THANK GOD. Alright I am in. Well, lets go with your most controversial law, the Involuntary Sudden Apphrension.

    Nut Jeep: Uh, you think that will work? After all, it is quite boring since the last Third-Major- Race-Rally's arrest.

    Aunhua : Ah nevermind la. Just wanted a kenduri ma. I will get the Religious party to lead it la.

    Nut Jeep: How is the Involuntary Sudden Apphrension related to religion anyway?
    The Fire-at-the-Moon party how?

    Aunhua : Uh, they are kinda having an on off thing now. Cincai la deng.

    Nut Jeep: I will get some opposition to your troops just in case la.

    Aunhua : It will be a blast!!! Bet it will be fun, with water and smoke! Like a Pussycat Doll Concert.

    Turns out, it was more of a Kenny G concert. The participants from Nut Jeep's side went to the PC Fair. The other side was feeling drowsy from lunch and went home after 1 hour and thirty minutes.

    Wonder what is next.

    Disclaimer: The author is a retard. He doesn't know what he is writing. This article has no reference to anything that happened in the real world, just things that happened in this retard's head. None of this is true and it is not a reference to any country in the world. Cerita ini rekaan semata-mata. Kalau ada sebarang persamaan dengan yang nyata, ini cumalah suatu kebetulan. This article may not even be true or exist. THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT EXIST!


    farah said...

    wow this looked like it took a lot of time to write. anyway, i LIKE it! excellent :)

    Knowolf said...

    Just a bit. Suddenly got flow. I think it took just about 1 hour.

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