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    Saturday, July 09, 2011

    Knowolf was Tentacle Raped, by Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon (Really long post that is not suitable for minors)

    I just watched Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon. And you will start asking me, "Is it good? What did you think of it?"

    I cannot answer that in a short way. Allow me to illustrate the feeling in the following scenario. Imagine you had a girl (girls, imagine it was a guy) of your dreams. You have not seen her for a long time, and then you met her back, and she was jaw dropping gorgeous the first time. PERFECT. The second time you met her, she took off her make up and was not someone you would say... pretty, but you'd still tap that. The third time you met her, she invited you to her house. You know she is not exactly pretty the second time, but this time, you hoped she would have done something to fix herself. And you were kinda looking forward to see if she had heard feedbacks about her looks. You look forward to the sex, but with not much expectation.

    You went to her house, getting psyched up. She invites you in, makes you comfortable. She wore a really sexy white see through lingerie dress. and you can see her sexy underwear inside; but she kept babbling on about her grandmother and how they fought the war and suffered by eating nothing but bark. It is boring, but you endured it for the anticipated sex.

    And then she made the first move. At first, it was what you expected. Not so bad, but not great. Halfway through...she undressed, and FUCK, SHE HAD TENTACLES INSTEAD OF HUMAN GENITALS!!! SHE IS A SEX STARVED TRANSEXUAL TENTACLE MONSTER!!! YOU WANTED TO RUN! You dashed for the door, but her tentacles acted like .... just like octopus tentacles. They bound you, reeled you back in, and you were violated with the tentacles in every orifice, even in those you did not know exists, with such violence and brutality that is comparable to an angry baboon raping a chihuahua after being drugged with stimulants and Viagra. You tried to scream and escape, but there was no escaping these strong tentacles. You then, gave up, closed your eyes, and endured the pain in hopes that it will end soon. But it didn't. It lasted for as long as you can remember. And blood was flowing everywhere.

    It all ended when the sadistic monster had her fill. You covered youself with whatever that is in reach, in this case, a newspaper sheet, in hopes of protecting any dignity left in you. You cried, there was no pain, torture, and violation in hell as devastating as this. She lighted up a cigratte, inhaled deeply, and blew the smoke to your face. She said, "Haha, you are such a virgin." And then she asked you for all your money for the services you received. You were traumatised. You... has just gone through a fate worse than hell, and has to live with such a suffering forever.

    That is exactly how I felt after wathing the movie. Violent tentacle -raping of my childhood and endless suffering and a permanent scar...that throbs in pain. Seriously WTF man. WTF was Michael Bay and the script writers thinking of?

    Transformers: My Childhood Dream

    The Transformers franchise is like a dream I had never able to realize. Unlike you lucky bastards who had people buy you Transformers toys when you were young, I never had too much of such priviledge after the age of 7. Before that age, I watched the movies and thee cartoons, and I got some toys when I asked for them for my birthday or some celebration. When 7 hit, my main toy sponsor was gone, and I was left with no one to continue supplying me Transformer figures. I wanted them bad, but there was no way to get it. People started buying nonsense for my birthday instead of cool toys, shits like shirts, pens, books, beatings, etc etc. So Transformers was like the girl I had a really DEEP feelings for, but was never able to talk to her because she is a Billion Dollar Bikini Supermodel Astrophysicist, while I was Tobias Funke. THAT was what Transformers meant to me. I would go to toy stores and look at all the figures, but always never able to buy them.

    A Typical Analrapist-Tobias Funke

    Then the movies came. I was like, meh, usually it can't be that good. Adaptations are never good. But Transformers 1 was awesome. It was so cool. It was God sent. It was as if God forgave all human's sin and rebirthed all of us into perfect beings. And then Revenge of the Fallen came. At that time, God decided to be Loki. He fucked up the movie, making it illogical and full of shit and pointless cleavage and robot balls. But at least there was a cool Optimus transformation and fight in the end. I thought it was really bad, but meh, still acceptable.

    And then Dark of the Moon came. I thought it would be better. People who watched it said it was good. Even my girlfriend said it was great (I will keep this grudge forever). And so with no expectation, I went in the cinema. And I came out a broken, angry, scarred, tentacle-raped man. This movie raped my childhood so bad, now I am developing a new personality to deal with this scar.

    But you guys would say "Aw, come on, it's not that bad. Look at the animation and that hot chick!" Oh yeah? You think? There was this girl who came out of the cinema and loudly proclaimed to her friend that "THIS WAS GOOD!" and gave it two thumbs up. I nearly threw her down from the top floor of Tropicana City Mall. IT WAS MASS TENTACLE RAPING I TELL YOU! RAPE! and some people do enjoy it!

    The Shitass Boring Grandmother Backstory

    The movie started with some story about Apollo 11 moon mission and some top secret conspiracy. I was impressed by that, as they took real JFK and Reagan (awesome president) footage to put in the video. And then it started to suck. HELLO, we would like to see some action with Giant Kickass Robots Transforming and kicking the shit out of each others in a cool way, prefeably John Woo pigeons-flying-in-the-background style. BUT we get some story about insecurity and immature mid life crisis. We would like to see more story, like the evil plot or the sinister conspiracy, but fuck the audience, let's give them some paper thin script with boring love story pointless characters (Sam's parents especially). And oh, we need some eye candy because all Transformer fans are virgin guys and fap to this movie, so let's start it with a girl showing off her ass. Great. The first 75 minutes is story about mid life crisis and only 5% action.

    The Tentacle and the Raping

    Throughout the movie, it will be evident that the new script writers (the originals left) were watching a lot of tentacle rape hentai while writing the script. The hentai tentacle metaphors are obvious. First Decepticon the protagonists see? A fucking giant tentacle with mini tentacles sticking out driven by Soundwave (doesn't even look like him). Girl in the car being held hostage? Threathen her with lots and lots of tentacles. Sam Whitwicky's evil manipulating chain? A watch with a tentacle that penetrates your skin to attach to you central nervous system, sending a numbing/painful SENSATION (I can't tell which, Shia's acting was...shit). Giant empty building hiding enemies (Freud would say that this is a sign of a woman's womb and eggs)? No problem, send the giant tentacle monster in to PENETRATE it at all levels and bring it down. Oh and also have a stereotypical Guy-Who-Has-Huge-Penis (aka an African) exclaim how damn cool the tentacle is. And as in every hentai with tentacle rape, a hero will come and save the day by cutting it up with a blade and serve it like octopus sashimi, just like how Optimus did in the show.

    Building:痛み! 痛み! あ!!!!

    AND THEY EVEN HAD TO FUCKING TENTACLE RAPE OPTIMUS PRIME. Don't believe me? What happened after Optimus cut the tentacle thing? He got trapped in lots and lots of tentacles and couldn't escape until the wreckers came and cut him free. And these are tiny wires...trapping the great Optimus, while all he can do is struggle and moan. FUCK YOU SCRIPT WRITERS!

    And the childhood raping.It started of with unwelcomed teasing, like a cat playing with his food. I have accepted the fact that the movie will never be accurate to the original canon of Transformers. But this is fucking nonsense. Cybertron is a bloody living planet, transforming into the robot Primus, aka the Lord of Light, aka Jesus of Robots. In the movie? A bloody rusty box. And I don't think Transformers drive. What is this? Terminator 4 remake? And Megatron is now Ezio from Assasin's Creed 2, hiding under a cape and assasinating Sentinel Prime from behind (see? another rape metaphor).

    Guess Leonardo Da Vinci overdid the modifications

    And then the true Raping began. Horrible storyline. The phrase "Autobots, transform and roll out!" did not appear in the entire film, while a really loud "Autobots, RETREAT" was loudly commanded. Transformers that I know of kills each other honourably in combat and never makes it personal or sadistic. But in the movie, FUCK HONOUR! THAT IS FOR THE JAPANESE! The hostage scene shows Que, brutally murdered after much pleaing and surrendering. The whole scene was shown explicitly, with his head rolling on the round and acting real human. THAT WAS THE MOST FUCKING DISTRUBING PART. Que was just the inventor, never showing any real threat to the Decepticons, and he was a nice old man. YOU HAD THE ANIMATORS MAKE HIM LOOK AND FEEL HUMAN! And then you murdered him in cold blood explicitly. Tell me, how would a child feel if he watched that? FUCK YOU SCRIPT WRITER.

    Talking about blood, why the fuck does the Transformers bleed? Every Transformer cut seems to be spewing blood all over the place. "Oh, that's the motor oil and lubricant colour". Oh? but they didn't have it in 1 and 2. SO fuck you. You just needed to have it for the 3d effect didn't you? Thank you making it so fucking gory and fucked up.

    The Action

    "BUT the action in the movie was great!!!" defended the people who liked it. I came to watch robots transforming and fighting coolly. Here we have a few SHORT cool scenes, like Ironhide against the Decepticon...uh....lackeys, and Bumblebee destroying Soundwave. The others? 15% Autobots speeding around in overweaponized car form, 15% Decepticons shooting people or destroying people or Laserbeak raping people with his tentacle tail, and last 70% Sam Whitwicky and his friends dancing around the fucking collapsing building. And even in that scene, it's more like Terminator than Transformers.

    And So...

    ...I was raped. Horribly raped. Childhood raped to the point of destruction. FUCK YOU Michael Bay and Spielberg. Seriously fuck you.

    At least they showed us how cool African Americans are. Epps volunteered to bring in his kickass team to kick some ass, focusing on the stereotypical black man, with a white member falling to his death. The first volunteer when Lennox asked for their sacrifice? A black man. So brothas are cool.

    But Still...

    Scared. For life. Fuck you Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon.

    Some of you who liked it and said it was good, it was because you never had a Transformers childhood. You only know the movie. And also, you like being raped by tentacles.

    (The last part does not apply to people the writer knows)

    Sunday, August 02, 2009

    Mogok Bin Protes: How a Trick Never Works Thrice

    Back in 1997 in the land of 1Negara.

    Axpeeam: Argh shit. Stupid Jorge Solos brought down 1Negara's economy. Now the people are panicking.

    Aunhua :That will seriously hamper our progress towards Perfect Vision. We need to calm the people, or at least divert their attention elsewhere. Now that the Important Multinational Funder is knocking at our doors, our books will be exposed if we don't divert the attention of the public!

    Axpeeam: But how? This recession is so huge that most Tiger Nations are hurt. There can be no bigger news than the daily random sackings and unpredicted bankruptcies!

    Aunhua :Well, a sex scandal would do the trick.

    Axpeeam: Urgh, that is a bad idea. Sex scandals happen all the time. Just a few weeks also our friend in the White Crib was just caught with his pants down with his secretary. Nothing much also.

    Aunhua : Well, we are more conservative. Let's get a powerful person to do it.

    Axpeeam: Ok, go on...

    Aunhua : And we make it a "konspirasi" thingy.

    Axpeeam: Interesting...

    Aunhua : Then we get his wife and supporters to start a riot and ask for change and reforms. Then get them to protest in a huge scale in Kaeyael. Ooo, that will help us use up our expired tear gas and weapons from the Riot-Which-Will-Be-Remembered-As-A-Date, allowing us to buy better weapons to scare our tiny neighbours to the South. See, we get to kill 3 birds with 1 stone.

    Axpeeam: I like the sound of it, but it know, a kick. A bang. A BOOM. AN ATTENTION GRABBER.

    Aunhua: OH!! WE MAKE HIM GAY! WAHHAHA. WE can laugh all about it also. A POWERFUL fag being sent to prison. That should get the whole world looking.

    Axpeeam: FANTASTIC! Now I can have more time to try saving the economy and keeping out the Important Multinational Funder. Good job. But, who are we going to frame?

    Aunhua: Someone, Importand, Poweful, Charismatic. Someone, who is in line for big things in life, such as being the premier, yet ironically will lose everything. Someone, no one will believe is gay.

    Axpeeam: *looks at Aunhua and smiles*

    Aunhua : Mapet.....

    The rest was history.

    Fast forward to 2007-2008.
    Buddawee: Yo sup!

    Aunhua : You tell me. I was in there stuck being mistaken for a fag. You should see how many inmates were hitting on me. And not to mention the police HITTING me. Damn shit.

    Buddawee: Ou...*stares at the floor looking dejected*

    Aunhua : What is troubling you bro?

    Buddawee: Well, a bubble just popped, and you should know how that will affect us.

    Aunhua : Yeah. Damn, and they are our biggest customers. I bet a lot of our people will lose their jobs. Sad case huh. Such is Capitalism.

    Buddawee : And yeah, I also have not been living up to Axpeeam's reputation as a leader. Sigh.

    Aunhua : Yeah. Not many people can top that guy.

    Buddawee : Well, I need something from you bro.

    Aunhua : Yeah, what is i......Oh shit, not that again.

    Buddawee : I am sorry, but then we seriously need this.

    Aunhua : We just had a big Clean protest that day!

    Buddawee : Well, that was a bad thing for me. It kind of hurt my reputation you know. Dude, I seriously need this. Please "backdoor" someone, please. I seriously need a news to divert this. I don't want to go down as the least contributing premier ever....

    Aunhua : But this wont work again. The context is different.

    Buddawee: We won't know if we don't try! Come on.

    Aunhua : I JUST BLOODY GOT OUT!!!

    Buddawee: Pretty please? *Pikachu eyes*

    Aunhua : No, please. Mahai don't la. WTF. Woi. Deng. Jangan la. O FUCKING KAY LA. I just got this new assistant. But I tell you it won't work. If it doesn't I m gonna clear my name.

    Buddawee : God willing it will! *Gleams*

    God did not will it. It did not bring forth a major riot like the last time. God didn't find it funny this time. The Almighty did something to the elections. Buddawee was soon replaced.


    Aunhua : Yo Nut! Good job on the last AUM NO elections!

    Nut Jeep: Haha, what job? It is expected la.

    Aunhua : But still, you had a tough competition.

    Nut Jeep: You did well too yo. I nearly loss my premiership to you! Kena PWN!

    Aunhua : Aiya GG d la. My Ninth Month thing did not work out. Damn.

    Nut Jeep: Cheer up dude. Always a next time. But I am on a roll man. I am carrying out reforms like nobody's business! Dam cool eh. Look at my approval rating!

    Aunhua : Keep it up bro.

    Nut Jeep: Dude, interested in another little project?

    Aunhua : As long as it doesn't involve another backside, I am fine. Even my wife is beginning to believe the news. Damn.

    Nut Jeep: Uh, I am thinking more like a little, you know, the peaceful Clean rally. We did not clean up all tear gas as before. Need to do some housekeeping.

    Aunhua : THANK GOD. Alright I am in. Well, lets go with your most controversial law, the Involuntary Sudden Apphrension.

    Nut Jeep: Uh, you think that will work? After all, it is quite boring since the last Third-Major- Race-Rally's arrest.

    Aunhua : Ah nevermind la. Just wanted a kenduri ma. I will get the Religious party to lead it la.

    Nut Jeep: How is the Involuntary Sudden Apphrension related to religion anyway?
    The Fire-at-the-Moon party how?

    Aunhua : Uh, they are kinda having an on off thing now. Cincai la deng.

    Nut Jeep: I will get some opposition to your troops just in case la.

    Aunhua : It will be a blast!!! Bet it will be fun, with water and smoke! Like a Pussycat Doll Concert.

    Turns out, it was more of a Kenny G concert. The participants from Nut Jeep's side went to the PC Fair. The other side was feeling drowsy from lunch and went home after 1 hour and thirty minutes.

    Wonder what is next.

    Disclaimer: The author is a retard. He doesn't know what he is writing. This article has no reference to anything that happened in the real world, just things that happened in this retard's head. None of this is true and it is not a reference to any country in the world. Cerita ini rekaan semata-mata. Kalau ada sebarang persamaan dengan yang nyata, ini cumalah suatu kebetulan. This article may not even be true or exist. THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT EXIST!

    Friday, June 19, 2009

    Hannah Montana is Bad News for Your Daughters

    Enough said

    PS: Picture is shamelessly stolen from here like a good Malaysian.

    Saturday, June 13, 2009

    My 四奶奶 Story

    Based on the TVB drama series "Rosy Business"

    Chin Po Kei (aka Chin Lai Lai/Sei Lai Lai) was left with the burden of protecting the people of No Fail ( 無Fail) from famine and starvation when her husband passed away from sudden coronary heart disease that has no cure at that time. He left her his business, Hing Fung Assignments, a 100 year old business that deals with assignments. Her job was not easy, being the youngest wife and ahead of her time, she was faced with opposition from people with evil intentions.

    First, is the eldest wife, Choo Fung Yi (aka Choo Lai Lai/ Tai Lai Lai) who is always looking to protect his, I mean, her own interest in the organization. She sees Sei Lai Lai as an opposition and a threat to her power in the family. She wants to keep the status quo, and views Sei Lai Lai's radical changes as a threat to that. She is a smart person, never taking the first step otherwise forced to, and is able to make use of people aroud her. However, she wanted to make sure that Hing Fung Assignments prosper, as it affects her too.

    Second, the eldest son and supposedly heir to the family, Cheung Pit Jet, was brought up since young as a spoilt child. He is used to having power in Hing Fung Assignment, and treats the workers as inferior beings. Lacking in business skills, he always seem to be able to get Hing Fung Assignment into trouble. Also impulsive, rash, and easily angered, he acts without thinking, sometimes landing himself in huge trouble, only to be saved by his mother or Sei Lai Lai (who promised her husband to take care of him). Also a womanizer, he is seen to visit the local brothel in broad daylight and slept with his uncle's mistress, causing Sei Lai Lai to draw huge sums of money from Hing Fung Assignments to help him.

    On the contrary, Chin Lai Lai are also aided by a lot of capable people, who defend, support, and help her put her plans into actions in her crusade to protect Hing Fung Assignments and No Fail.

    Chai Sim, a refugee from a village devastated by a flood, met Chin Lai Lai by accident during a siege of refugees who was suffering from low marks, I mean, "starvation" on the products of Hing Fung Assignments. She, I mean, He later worked in Hing Fung Assignments as a coolie without pay. Using his wits, loyalty, and guts, he quickly rose from the lowly rank of coolie to Sei Lai Lai's right hand man. His dream was to be able to send 1 car 1 car thesis (一車一車 thesis) back to his thesis supervisor, Ooops, caregiver, Luk Po, who is suffering from famine. Luk Po was his anchor in life, encouraging him to go on no matter how hard life is. He have a very close relationship with Sei Lai Lai, defending her and endangering himself for Sei Lai Lai anytime, which makes people think that they are having an affair, which is illogical, as he had Graduation (a fatal infectious disease that all of No Fail citizens will get, unless they fail), making it impossible for Sei Lai Lai and Chai Sim to be intimate. To him, everyone in Hing Fung Assignments are idiots, except for Sei Lai Lai. He has a bloody feud with Cheung Pit Jet, Pit Jet sent assasins to kill him, but failed because of Chai Sim's deformity. Chai Sim once had the chance of killing Cheung Pit Jet, but Sei Lai Lai managed to persuade him not to. Chai Sim later died of the deadly disease of Graduation, however, his work is not forgotten to Sei Lai Lai and was forever enshrined in every hardcopy of Hing Fung Assignments's assignments that they did together.

    Sei Lai Lai saw potential in Cheung Pit Mir Faris, the second son of the family, to lead Hing Fung Assignments because he is very close to the workers, respectful, and enjoys working and talking with the workers. However, Pit Mir Faris is very very very lazy, does not want to take responsibility of important duties, and rather enjoy himself with the workers of Hing Fung Assignments. He was gullible and easily cheated by people, and fears taking charge of things. He was later trained by Sei Lai Lai to take over, and he was able to change himself (in the series, not yet in real life) to become a successful leader of Hing Fung Assignments.

    The local governor, Governor Mor (Mor 大人 ) is a greedy and selfish official in the city of No Fail. He would give good benefits to and bend the law for Tai Lai Lai because he gives him quality assignments, sorry, as long as SHE gives him heavy bribes. Governor Mor also seems to hate Sei Lai Lai because she is cutting back on Governor Mor's share.

    However, the law is not always against Sei Lai Lai. Prince Liau (Liau 王) would help Sei Lai Lai anytime because he knows that Sei Lai Lai is helping the people, and because of this, Governor Mor would have to give face to Sei Lai Lai.

    Pang Ling (not the Cantopop singer from Hong Kong, but that funnily evil character from Rosy Business) was the brother of the second wife of the husband of Sei Lai Lai, a logistic tycoon in No Fail, and an notorious underground mobster. He was in cahoots with Tai Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Jet, as the relationship benefited each other. He absolutely despises Chai Sim, and sees him as a worthless dog, nevertheless a formidable opponent. Tai Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Jet always look for Pang Ling to help them do their shady deals, as their status would not allow them to do such dirty work.

    In the end, after Chai Sim's death from Graduation, Sei Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Mir Faris helped Chai Sim fulfill his lifelong wish, where every year, they would send back 一車一車 thesis for Luk Po, to which she is still marking today.

    Disclaimer: This story is made up with half fact and whole lies. Some characters are put there because they are important characters of "Rosy Businesss". However, this does not means that the characteristics of the people that you think are linked to the characters in this story are not as described, but it also does not mean they are true. This is just for fun. So, like that la. To watch this story, please tune in to Astro On Demand channel 921-928 in year 3009 from 36 o clock to 48 o clock. Thank you.

    Tuesday, May 26, 2009

    Catholic Church Statistics by Dan Braun

    The Hidden Catholic Church is mean,
    Everyone who does not agree with them are errors,
    When you add up the dissent it is known as sum of errors,
    The average amount of error among all the people who does not agree with Catholic Church are the STANDARD DEVIATION,
    People who are 3 standard deviations away are outliers that does not matter because they are Muslims.


    The t-test is to prove ur faith as a person who is going to hell or heaven.

    Thursday, May 07, 2009

    A Critical Review of: Kinta

    After procrastinating for so long, finally Knowolf decided to buy the local "action" flick Kinta (Original, mind you) to help kill time during the holidays. He was quite excited to watch it, seeing how Malaysia's northen neighbour has made great action movies (most probably attributable to the training the Red and Yellow shirts get from protesting). AN so with RM 15 gone in trade for this DVD, he happily ripped open the plastic, placed it in the DVD player of his Asus, and then spent 1 and a half hour watching the movie.

    And the judgment?


    The movie had a few great fight scenes, especially the one with Mark Cheng (aka very well known Hong Kong 3rd Grade movie actor). The actors did quite well during the fight scenes, making it look really like a street fight with kung fu elements and every hit did seem very real. The bad guy did look really like a thug (with an ugly face like that, who wouldn't?)

    HOWEVER...that is the only thing Knowolf enjoyed in the movie. Yes, although the core of every martial arts movie is the fights, this movie is plagued by what Knowolf calls the "Malaysian Chinese Movie Syndrome"

    Symptoms of MCMS
    1. All over the place script
    2. Movie did not fall properly into its category
    3. Using a lot of artsy fartsy movie making skills.
    4. Certain funny things that you do not know whether it is good or bad in the movie.

    The script was all over the place without focus. Knowolf didn't know that he was watching a flashback when it happened. Knowolf did not know who was the real bad guy.

    Here is WHY

    Half the movie is a flashback of what each character went through in the movie. 4 bloody charactes. Each with their own story and agendas. How the hell you would want to fit all of them into movie? It is only 1 and a half hours! The movie did not elaborate each character properly, neither did it give each of them a proper ending (Robin Ho died, so that doesn't count). BUT EVEN ROBIN HO WASN'T KILLED properly!!

    Every Kung Fu movie follows roughly the sequence here:

    Hero introduced.
    Bad guys showed.
    Hero meets trouble.
    Hero trains.
    Conflict resolved.

    Each character was introduced properly with their characteristics and all, and also with their style of fighting. HOWEVER, their style of fighting did not show that prominently in the action scenes.

    And then the baddies were shown. There were two guys, and Knowolf didn't know who is the baddest of em'all. One guy hated the other guys guts, and the main fighting lackey is in love with the princess of the movie. THAT IS ALL IS TOLD. NO RESOLUTION to whether the bad guys died or even LOST in that movie. NOTHING is said about the lackey's love for the princess or did he rape the princess's best friend while being drunk. NO RESOLUTION OR CLOSURE AT ALL.

    Then the training part comes. In all martial art flicks, the main character would train and his improvement will be shown in terms of higher agility, better skills, etc. In Kinta, they were shown training, BUT it seems that there is no bloody improvement. The Malays in the movie were skilled pendekars, yet the Heroes only learnt how to use the blowpipe and only used it once. NO FLASHBACK of how their training helped....and in the end, as said before, the movie didn't end with any one dead or whether the baddies lost.

    There should be a lot of fight scenes in a martial art film right? Knowolf was impressed with the first two fight scenes (especially when ninjas with parangs appeared, where Knowolf was reminded about how Malaysians kill each other) . HOWEVER, to save cost, these scenes were repeated as a flashback. WTF. Knowolf do not need to see the fight scenes again, he can rewind it anytime. SHOW SOMETHING NEW!!!

    Movie Not Falling Into Its Category and Being Artsy Fartsy
    Knowolf thinks that this is more like a artsy movie like Lust,Caution or directed by some guy who wants to be Ang Lee. There were the infamous "behind an object shot" and "black and white shot".
    WTF is happening?
    Why is there a table blocking the shot? All these artsy skills was used, and yet Knowolf did not know what the skills used are saying. Is this really a literal scene of "undertable dealings?" And now Knowolf thinks that this is not a martial arts film, it is more of an artistic movie with martial arts in it.

    Funny Elements
    The intro scene had great CG animation. It fitted the movie perfectly. HOWEVER, the "motivation music" (like Rocky's Eye of the Tiger, or the infamous Wong Fei Hung theme) is a hip hop item. WTF, they had hip hop back in 1881? This made the movie feel like the video game Def Jam Vendetta, where American Blacks fought each other with loud hip hop at the back. Didn't know if this was good or not...

    Secondly, the blood. Look

    Damn fake, but then it served its purpose in showing violence, and yet it is friendly with the kids...

    It was an overall average movie with great fight scenes. However, the makers need to focus their plot more. DO RESEARCH ON HOW PAST MARTIAL ARTS FLICKS ARE DONE!!! Refer to Ong Bak 2!!! With the type of ending that would sending to counseling for unfinished business and lack of closure, make Kinta 2 please. We would really want to know if Patrick Teoh is gonna die...

    PS: Knowolf think this post is too long.
    PSS: Knowolf can critique this movie because he is a connoisseur of martial arts flick
    PSSS: Knowolf would like to play a part in Kinta 2.

    Thursday, April 30, 2009


    Today, Knowolf was driving out for a RM10 mixed ECONOMY rice in Taman Muda when he heard someone's name on the radio. So this certain someone is exceptionally famous in the Malaysian Tax Accounting/Auditing World, and as we know, the only people who can reach that type of status in Malaysia is a Chinese because:

    1. The Chinese are money minded.

    2. They are also the best in anything business related.

    (Please consider the fact that the Chinese are the first in snapping up all the ASM units compared to the Malays who were to lazy and Indians who are to drunk*)

    Now this once upon a time Knowolf had to survey lecturers for his thesis project, and this certain celebrity not only refused (Knowolf totally respected that), he slammed the door in Knowolf's face without saying anything. This person has written famous and well cited tax related accounting books, highly intellectual, and has great command of English, yet has the courtesy and politeness of a angry in heat alpha baboon whose partner was having an affair with the weak juvenile baboon from another pack.

    Now contrast this person with this other person. During the same project, Knowolf went to IIUM (if you really want to know where, google it) and went to the Department of Arabic Studies. There was this Malay lecturer who was an expert in Arabic language, and yet had poor command of English. Although Knowolf said it is okay if he rejected to participate (total respect for consent), this lecturer insisted that he helped out even though he explicitly said that his English is poor. He tried his very best to answer, and did not hesistate to ask questions. He even offered Knowolf a candy after the survey. Halfway through, a Middle Eastern lecturer walked in to borrow a "kamus" (Malay and Arabic for dictionary, the only word Knowolf could understand) and spoke in Arab so well that Knowolf thought he had a lot of phlegm in his throat.

    Contrasting this two person, both lecturers and professors locally, any wonder how Knowolf is a racist? You see, come on!!!

    The Chinese guy fits perfectly into the Lansi, Kiasu, Money-minded Chinese stereotype.

    The Malay guy with the ramah-mesra and the sweet-tooth.


    Disclaimer: The author realizes that there is use of racist stereotype in this post to invoke humour and thought, but not to disrupt racial harmony. The examples in this entry is a personal experience, and has not taken into account the mental and physical state of the person involved during the experience. The author hopes that everyone can laugh about it and not end up sharing a cell with Teresa Kok under Race Relations Act, only to be released at the next Prime Minister's installment.

    *= only for comedic effect, not a true reflection of the people who are labled such races. These characteristics are synthesized from mamak jokes.

    Wednesday, April 29, 2009

    Things Knowolf Know After Playing Pet's Society

    Although not convinced Pet's Society is the right term to use for the program (the pets are incapable of forming a society, they are just avatars), Knowolf is in fact hooked on it because he has a weakness for leveling and grinding. However, through the game, he has learnt how to be a good butler, asshole of a friend, cute prostitute, diva of a bimbo, and big spender because he has learnt that:

    1. Visiting your friends gets you money (much like borrowing relatives). Kissing them is the fastest way of making extra money...

    2. Gay Pride is a-ok!!!

    3. Your pets get an orgasm when u rub, brush, or clean them.

    4. Every pet is a professional athlete.

    5. Like Merryl Lynch and Lehmann Brothers, the bank encourages you to get more money from them and spend it all.

    6. Unlike Merryl Lynch and Lehmann Brothers, the bank make money from that.

    7. Throwing tantrums get your the food you want.

    8. Some owners are serious crazy and love their pets.

    9. Fighting is cute, funny, gives you money, and should be encouraged.


    10. Skin colour does not matter, whether you are yellow, black, white, brown, blue, magenta, turqoise.....Muhibbah beb.

    So, thank you pets society for adding knowledge to Knowolf's library...

    Colourwolf is Changing to Knowolf

    Yes, the title says it all. The title Colourwolf from today on will be replaced by Knowolf due to:

    1. The increasing number of people who is using Colourwolf/Colorwolf as their internet nicknames. (try googling or searching for that name in that popular social networking website, you will realize it does not refer to the person writing this entry.

    2. To reflect on the fact that the person writing this entry has more KNOWledge than the other 狼 out there.

    As you may have already know, the name Colourwolf was a literal translation of 色狼given to Clownlegend to honour his personality. But it seems to be losing its own uniqueness slowly since 2002 when the name was first given, and it seems to be time for the title 色狼 to regain its former lusture.

    Instead of changing the spelling or adding hearts or anything lala on that name, Clownlegend decided to play with the pronunciation this time. 色 (colour) sounds like 识 (know). The reason this word is chosen is because it shows that Clownlegend knows more than the other people who declare that they are 色狼s out there (excuse the inflation of ego, but considering Clownlegend's achievements and the typical guys who sit in CCs randomly adding people on their MSN through Friendster, Clownlegend reserves the right to do so ). And 狼 will not be changed since that is bloody normal anyway. So there you go, a new name to refer to Clownlegend by...

    识狼 =Knowolf (the w is taken out for it is redundant in the pronunciation,and because it is too long to type)

    By the way, yes, Knowolf did see people in the cc going through people's obsolete social networking website and adding people to their online messenger just because their pics look good on that obsolete social networking website. Then they tried to chat up the girl, by acting busy with "work" and official business, potraying a rich and busy status. Knowolf though "wow, he must be a busy manager or something" too. Turns out he might just be selling DVDs in SS2 on monday.

    A Game Which I Tribute to the Violence Loving E!

    Clear Vision 2

    Click here to play this game

    Saturday, April 25, 2009

    Buy a psychotee or an idea.

    As a psychology major/psychologist, buy a t-shirt. Or else, you are not cool

    Click this>

    And for you who needs ideas and such, buy an idea from:

    Monday, April 13, 2009

    Of Bloody FacadeTome and Annoying Questionnaires Share

    t wasn't that annoying at first,
    In fact it was quite fun.
    Doing all the quizzes,
    When there is nothing to be done.
    And then when it buzzes,
    it buzzed really loud.
    Everyone wanted
    to be nicely tested.
    And then my facadetome was spammed,
    by unworthy dirt.

    And now it is really annoying,
    to see the quizzes pop out.
    This is what hell is like,
    for serious psychometricians.
    All you people,
    forgot about validity.
    And that is why,
    All the quizzes are going crazy

    I challenge all of you,
    to prove the validity.
    Costruct, Face, and Predictive,
    Just show the stats to me.
    And if it really works,
    I recommend you keep it.
    You could be making millions,
    Selling your bloody quiz!

    Thursday, March 12, 2009

    Pantun Buat Datuk

    Di sini ingin Lagenda Badut mempersembahkan sebuah pantun buat tatapan orang ramai, dan ditujukan kepada para Datuk-Datuk, Datin-Datin, Ahli-Ahli Politik, Orang ternama dan orang ramai yang tidak ingin menjadi terkenal kerana hal-hal yang patut berlaku di dalam hidup peribadi sendiri.

    Gajah dan singa sama berlari,
    Sampai sungai gajah diterkam.
    Walaupun sudah hangat berahi,
    Aksi hebat usah dirakam.

    Sungai tempat baju dicuci,
    Air jernih pula dicemari.
    Sebelum mula hebat beraksi,
    Kamera ditutup bilik dikunci.

    Angin meniup membawa sampan,
    Singgah pula bawah jambatan.
    Kalau ingin simpan buat tatapan,
    Baik sedia kalau di"upload"kan.

    Ada jambatan ada daratan,
    Ada daratan ada bangunan.
    Ada keinginan ada keizinan,
    Ada keizinan ada perhatian.

    Bangunan tinggi kebanggan negara,
    "Lonely Planet" beri 5 "Star"
    Anak gadis harus berwaspada,
    Kalau tak ingin jadi "Net Star"

    Majalah ditatap buangnya akhbar,
    Berita hangat mulut membawa.
    Cerita hangat mudah disebar,
    Bila dah terkenal pasti kecewa.

    Kalau mulut disalahguna,
    baik diajar moral dituntun.
    Kalau kisah telah dicerita,
    Baik mengaku meminta ampun

    Dengan ada budi pekerti,
    Delima dilahir dari arang.
    Buat salah muka dikenali,
    Usah tutup mulut orang.
    Lagenda Badut

    Harap pantun ini boleh membawa sedikit nasihat buat sesiapa yang membacanya

    Sunday, February 22, 2009

    Most Malaysians Do Not Use Jawi

    Google/Blogger employees needs to be more "culturally competent"

    Thursday, February 19, 2009

    A song for you

    Colourwolf was happy,
    when he turned on his lappie,

    Went to the post,
    and he thought he saw a ghost

    Now the post is gone,
    but the party is still on.

    Listen to this song,
    and the story it comes a long

    Based on PCD's "I Hate This Part Right Here"

    I hate the Longkang Post

    Making up,
    in the room,
    gotta pick a blouse.
    Singing soon,
    to a crowd,
    Gotta get it down

    Saw a dress,
    really cool,
    really sexy too.
    Changed it on
    and was called up

    (Chorus starts)
    It is, your turn, to sing, to the big big crowd
    Steped up, on stage, sang hard, but what the fuck...

    I can't describe any further,
    had to pitch higher,
    thought that dress would cover,
    But then it never.

    Showed it to the camera,
    heard everyone clamour,
    Only thing that I can say is

    I hate the longkang post...
    I hate the longkang post...
    Lewis hates longkang post...
    We hate the longkang post
    (Chorus ends)

    Gonna call lawyer up,
    and we're gonna sue.
    Anyone who has viewed
    or has spread it too.

    Close the site,
    ban the web,
    and the author too,
    No one will remember that


    I thought that dress would just hold on,
    I can sing like there's nothing wrong.
    Didn't realize it was not strong
    Who knows that the cutting was wrong!!!

    I can't describe any further,
    had to pitch higher,
    thought that dress would cover
    But then it never

    showed it to the camera
    heard everyone clamour
    Only thing that i can say is

    I didnt know it,
    I didnt know it,
    I didnt know it,
    What the fuck man

    I didnt know it, I didnt know it, I didnt know it,

    I hate the longkang post...
    I just hate the longkang post
    I hate the longkang post

    Disclaimer: Colourwolf is not referring to an event at a certain concert during which a certain modified sweat gland was shown. He is also not inferring anything about a well known singer who is a Cat. Thanks

    Monday, February 16, 2009

    Lei Song Mou?

    Colourwolf started recording Cipan events because it is too funny to be forgotten. Hence, the Cipan archive is born!

    Will be updated, but until the Cipans get bored of it.

    Anyway, here are the videos recorded with a once-expensive-now-outdated Nokia 7610
    Link to the Cipan Archives:


    Tuesday, February 10, 2009

    To all Assessment and Profiling Students out there

    Tired of finding more participants to do your pilot test?

    Long for an easy way to be done with those stacks of questionnaires?

    Dream that your questionnaires will be given out by themselves?


    Introducing the revolutionary "Teknik MukaBuku""!

    This technique eases your pain in giving out questionnaires and help you get the amount of participants you want!

    Nevermind that is causes pain and suffering to all those who are spammed, as long as you get your work done!

    Book a place now and learn how to get those questionnaire done by itself!

    PS: Colourwolf does not endorses spam, unethical advertisement, forced questionnaire answering, betrayal, MukaBuku, Kawanster, Kentucky Fried Chicken, promiscuity, apartheid, Pakatan Rakyat, Barisan National, The Republicans, The Democrats, The Devil Wears Prada, Johnny Depp and Britney Spears.

    Monday, February 09, 2009

    Ads on a certain Social Network Website

    Colourwolf has been stalking a lot of people on a social network website because he has nothing to do for a long time already. One fine day, he discovered this...
    Well, good luck guys.

    Tuesday, February 03, 2009

    Perintah Dijunjung

    Atas perintah yang maha bossy kakak besar yang akan identitinya dirahsiakan, Lagenda Badut kini mengemas kinikan blognya untuk memuaskan nafsu kakak besarnya yang sentiasa memerintahnya menulis suatu artikel baru untuk blognya. Oleh sedemikian, terimalah pos blog yang ditulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia ini.

    Wednesday, November 26, 2008

    Something Colourwolf would not usually write

    Well, sometimes Colourwolf is just a curious and sensitive person. He sees a lot and infer a lot, althought those might not be true, you should know. He knows what is going on, yet he acts cool to protect himself. It is not easy to become someone like that, you have to detach yourself from reality and encase yourself in logic and sometimes lies in order to reach this state.

    He knows that you are suffering inside and trying to be strong, yet feeling guilty because you think it is your fault (or at least that is what he thinks). Colourwolf understands more but he just denies it. He wants a lot of people to be happy and free, but this wishful thinking is sometimes limited by the way he acts. He is sorry because he is walking backwards into his logic and lies, for he thinks that it is time for that to happen. Seeing you pretend and in pain torments him more than you think. Withdrawing seems to distant him and you more as you both hide more and more emotions from each other.

    Hopes that he will be the last person that will see you cry and that you will find your happiness eternally in the end

    Saturday, July 05, 2008

    310 Assignment

    It is 3 a.m. Colourwolf was supposed to be studying. Instead, he decided to listen to some music and search for.....stuff. He then innocently stumbled upon this track he heard once on MTV, which was Snoop Dog's "Sensual Seduction". He got so fired up that he sidelined his studies (when his exams is 2 days away, and he barely started) and decided to make a parody of that to commemorate his team mates who did a great job for presentation. So, good job Jamie Khoo, NVM, Zyenn, Belle, and Twinggy on the presentation. And by the way, as usual, Colourwolf got by social loafing again by acting busy. HAHAHAH

    Physical Attraction.

    We don’t have much more time, (time, time, time)
    He will stop us for POI
    They’ll ask us really slow
    like how yeast works on a dough

    We just researched on
    Physical Attraction.
    We read journals on,
    Physical attraction
    We cannot define
    Physical attraction
    Physical attraction

    We are thinking of Pak,
    but we don’t agree, agree, agree
    We like Chen et al,
    And so does he, he he
    Swami 05, is really a cheat, cheat, cheat
    We read research till, we don’t have time to pee, pee, pee

    We just researched on
    Physical Attraction.
    Physical attraction
    Physical attraction
    Physical attraction

    Other groups took a punch,
    when they were told that they sucked
    And we got sucker punched…
    When we got delayed to another time
    On that day we were told, we were really pissed, pissed, pissed
    And next thing you know, we did it next week, week, week.
    The next thing he told us, is not to read,read, read
    This song really quite sucky, coz it repeats, peats, peats…

    We just researched on
    Physical Attraction.
    Physical attraction
    Physical attraction
    Physical attraction

    (I can’t rap, so just add any gibberish here)

    It was all for
    310 assignment,
    310 assignment (until end of time….)

    Here is the original song:

    PS: to whoever is offended by this, the writer is terribly sorry but he will not remove this post. so, repress and suppress la

    Saturday, June 14, 2008

    Order My Teh

    Colourwolf was diligently doing his assignment when the song "Have a Nice Day" by Bon Jovi played on my WMP. Due to the funny accent they have, instead of "have a nice day", Colourwolf heard "have a nice teh". Been watching a lot of Weird Al lately, so Colourwolf got inspired to make this parody instead of finishing his really hard to to assignment. So, please, sing a long

    here is the original song:

    here is the parody's lyric:

    Order My Teh

    Dey ! You wanna take my order or not!!!
    Been waiting here for a really long time!
    Ah Ne you don't so lan si ok!
    Been raising my hand, whistling while calling your name,
    How much is a Teh Tarik yang tak mau tarik,
    Been trying to order since yesterday!!

    Deey, if there's one thing I want to order,
    It is my teh tarik,
    Kurang manis dan kurang susu,
    Buih nak lebih sikit.
    Tarik tinggi tinggi,
    Bancuh cepat cepat,
    Problem is that you haven't got my order yet!
    Hey Ah Ne you come here now, fast fast

    Hey Ah Ne i finally got your attention,
    I want to order my burger tak mahu sos.
    The last time you brought my friend burger banjir sos
    The sos spilled all over my friend's unprotected crotch
    Got a dog's attention and he suddenly screamed!
    His inch long sausage got carried away!!!

    DEEEY if there is one thing i want to order,
    Its burger tak mau sos.
    I ain't risking my future marriage,
    By having too much sauce.
    Mayo banyak sikit,
    Sos langsung tak mau
    And dont forget what i really wanted.
    Hey Ah Ne you come here now, fast fast

    (Philharmonic orchestra solo)


    I got another thing i want to order,
    It is my roti kosong!
    I am broke from eating too much maggi.
    My wallet dam the bo song!!
    Kuah tak mau kari,
    Dhall banyak sikit,
    And dont forget what i really wanted.
    Hey Ah Ne you come here now, fast fast
    Order my teh

    When i order my, indomie rebus.
    Dont bring a plate of mee rebus
    i say, Order my teh
    Order My TEEEEEEH
    Order My TEH!

    Ps: Memang sebuah Mamak yang saya pergi

    Monday, April 28, 2008

    The President

    As the new B.Psych Student Council of a certain university somewhere, Colourwolf decided to start his reign by creating an anthem for himself just to show off a bit. After going through the first few weeks of being Mr. President, he got misunderstood for being power crazy, but to him it was fine, he is a little bit (Maslow: This is called need for recognition). And also, a lot of people has been going to him to ask for favours like:

    Please fix the chair (like he is the maintenance guy)
    Toilet dirty (like he is the one of the very nice Mak Cik who cleans the toilet)
    Carry chair for me please (like he is your slave)

    with the excuse : You are president ma, must do all these.

    being president of the council or a member for that matter does not make us your slaves to be ordered around. The council is there as a facilitator to make your life better. Also, The Council will take your complains and solve it with the correct authorities, not solve it ourselves like a slave.

    One fine day Colourwolf was walking around and suddenly, he had a song playing in his mind. It was "Candyman' by a black guy whom Colourwolf doesn't know. So Colourwolf made this...

    The President

    Who can take your complains,
    to the mighty Dean?
    Who can run projects just for the fun of running it?
    The President, (the president)
    Oo the President can, (the president can)
    The President can
    and he will because he has only very little time (only 3 sems)

    Who can run around
    asking for opinions?
    Who can start millions of committees for some work?
    The President, (the president)
    Oo the President can, (the president can)
    The President can
    and he will because council does not have enough manpower (no manpower)

    The President,
    Busy as he may seem,
    Actually he very lazy,
    Social loafing is his specialty,
    His master is called Xhin Xin Xi....

    Who can take a screw driver,
    screw back all the chairs?
    who can help you do all your work for you,
    The President, (the president)
    Oo the President can, (the president can)
    The President can but he won't
    because that is not part of his job (nothing to do with him)

    The President,
    Busy as he may seem,
    Actually he very lazy,
    Social loafing is his specialty,
    His master is called Xhin Xin Xi....

    Who has a lot of fine people,
    in the Student Council?
    Who can make council the best all the time?
    The President, (the president)
    Oo the President can, (the president can)
    The President can,
    only if the council does not vote him out ( OMG that's bad)

    Oo the President can, (the president can)
    The President can,
    only if the council does not vote him out

    This song is just a satire and please do not be offended by it. If you are, please go see the counselors stated in the letter to participants. Or better, here is a short song for u.

    Who doesn't really care,
    whether you offended or not?
    Practicing his freedom of speech to the maximum,
    Colouwolf, (Colouwold)
    oo the Colourwolf doesn't care,
    he doens't really care because he wrote this post the for fun of it (to make fun of you)

    Saturday, April 12, 2008

    Tagged for no reason

    Was bloody tagged for no reason. So to not cross the societal standards of bloggers, Colourwolf will do this tag...

    Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

    1. Why are you doing this?
    Bored of studying…

    2. What is your most favourite thing to do?

    3. If you have a close close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?
    Best friend forever

    5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
    No more tags

    6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
    Yes, I can hunt and forage in genting highlands

    7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
    my brains

    8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
    make fun of poor people

    9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
    Trying not to

    10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
    Alexa Goh- High SES, Above Average Intelligence, and nice to bully ( by reading the first 2, u should know I spend too much time studying psych.)

    11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
    not a guy, animal, plant, inanimate object. Does not have STDs. Above average looks, preferably with boobs

    12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
    Don’t hate anybody

    13. What is your ambition?
    Don’t have. In the moratorium stage. (Selva Raj, 2008)

    14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?

    15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

    17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
    be come more ganas because I am too nice

    18. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?

    19. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
    I will be in Genting Highland’s Chin Swee Temple as a monk who occasionally goes gamling.

    20. Do you think you get hungry because you’re cold, or cold because you’re hungry?
    According to James Lange, hungry coz u r cold

    Tagging: Uh, Choo Kok Yew (if he reads this)

    Wednesday, January 30, 2008

    BPSYCH Personal Inventory (aka Which Bpsycher are you?)

    I wasn’t really free when I came up with this, but then I decided this is sooo worth it. Give it a shot and see if it is valid. Have fun!

    Pick anything that u might use to answer. And you may choose more than 1. Write down the corresponding letter. If you have overlapping letters in the same question, count them differently (ie: Q1 you got 2 B, so it counts as 2 B) Total up in the end and see which one has the highest score!!!

    BPSYCH Personal Inventory (aka Which Bpsycher are you?)

    Your idea of a good time is

    1. Reading a love novel (B, C)
    2. Playing with your precious Mac or any cheap ass notebook you got (D, E, F)
    3. Read journals and tech stuff (E, F)
    4. Surfing for videos on youtube, downloading movies, and watching porn (D, G, I)
    5. Play hardcore computer games (Dota, CnC, Warhammer, Football manager, Fifa) (E, F, D, G, I)
    6. Blogging (A, C, E, F)
    7. Religious stuff (reading the bible, thinking of God, questioning the validity of the Bible, creating your own religion) (A, B, I)
    8. Thinking about hard questions (such as nature vs nurture) (F, I)
    9. Listening to music by Switchfoot, Chemical Romance, Lost Prophets (C, D)
    10. listening to music by Chinese artist (G, H, I)
    11. Jalan Jalan shopping mall (A, B, C, D)
    12. Play with your pet (J, A)
    13. Go club, get drunk (C)

    Your religion is…

    1. Conservative Christian (A, B, F)
    2. Christian (Christian and all, but go to church because I have to, don’t know God so well) (C, E)
    3. Liberal Christian (Go to church if no hangover from last night) (C)
    4. In my IC I am Christian (who is Jesus? That footballer from Mexico?)
    5. Islam PAS style ( Tudung is compulsory)
    6. Islam BN style ( Tudung is up to u) (D)
    7. Buddhist (I know what is karma and sutra) (G, I)
    8. Taoist (I pray to idols and that slab on the floor, and I pray to Datuk/Latuk) (G, H, I)
    9. I came out with my own religion (I)
    10. Lain Lain

    Your SES..

    1. High ( kaum kerabat)
    2. higher middle (I have more than enough) (B, C, D, E, F, H)
    3. Middle (ok la, so so la…if I save a bit then can go for holiday) (A, G)
    4. Lower middle (I have to save a long time for that rm 100 shoe from Petaling street) (G)
    5. Hobo (Aku miskin) (I)
    6. Don’t bloody care (I)

    Your working style

    1. Delegator (I)
    2. Social Loafer
    3. Procrastinator (C,D,G,H,I)
    4. Leader (lets get it done!! WOOHOO) (B, C, F)
    5. Standalone ( you are in my way) (F)
    6. Last minute (Eh, due yesterday meh?) (G, C, D)

    You come reach college at

    1. Before class (B, F)
    2. Ngam ngam ( A, E, G)
    3. late(C, D, H)
    4. Strategically to avoid traffic jams (I)

    You like to eat in

    1. Maxis ( D, F, G, H, I)
    2. Tapau from Maxis ( A, B, C, D, E, I)
    3. In Between Sandwich (B, C, I, E)
    4. Subway (C, D, I)
    5. In CFP (E)
    6. Sri Emas (no one likes that place)
    7. EnC (jauh sial)
    8. Wherever my friends go ( G, H, I)

    hot or appealing person in class is

    1. Kevin Soo (D, E, F, I)
    2. Jamie Khoo ( A, C, I, E, F, G, I)
    3. Ivy Chew (C, D,G, H, I)
    4. Izmir Fariz (C)
    5. Angelyn Wong (E, F, G, I)
    6. Chiew Pui Kit (G, H, I)
    7. Farah “Sugar”moydeen ( G, H, I)
    8. My Girlfriend, others sucks (F )
    9. My Boyfriend may suck, but he is still my boyfriend (C)
    10. God says not to discriminate by looks ( B)
    11. WHERE IS MY NAME???? (C, D, F)

    After class you hang out in

    1. One U ( B, C, D, F)
    2. Somewhere in PJ (B, C , D, F)
    3. Somewhere in KL (H, I)
    4. Sungei Wang (H)
    5. Lowyat or Digital Mall (E, F)
    6. Anywhere my friends are (A, G, I,)
    7. At home (A, G, I)

    At your free time, you think about

    1. Sex (D, G, I)
    2. Money (C, G, I)
    3. My potential/already boy/girl friend (C, D, E, F, I)
    4. Exam grades (A, B, E, F)
    5. God (A, B)
    6. My pets (A, B)
    7. DOTA! (F)
    8. Anything that wanders in and out of my head (I)

    When you got an opinion in class, you

    1. Voice it out because it makes sense (B, C, D, E, I)
    2. voice out UNTIL it makes sense (F)
    3. diam diam ubi berisi (A, H)
    4. tell the guy beside you like he cares (D, I)
    5. Lecturer always right (H)
    6. Zzzzzz What? What? Sorry I was sleeping during lecture (C, H)

    COUNT the letters you got, and see which has the highest total. That corresponds to a BPSYCHER!!!

    A= Anna Teoh

    Budak kecil yang cute, you tend to stay at home cause you have something to do at home like feed your pets. You like animals and anything cute. Deep inside, you are not that simple. You belief that God did everything to aid you in your life and he loves you

    B= Jamie Khoo

    Nearly puritanical, God is the only truth in the world. You spend your time love novels and movies (mostly involving Brits). You score well in your exam, and you lead the pack even though you don’t want to. You are organized and all, but sometimes wants to be lazy

    C= Xinch

    Dominating and ganas at times, you are actually very nice and try to exert control only if you have to. You bitch around often because you care. You like emo music at times, and loves shopping for strange emo fashion.

    D= Izmir

    Softie at times, but very ganas on the inside. You don’t bitch coz you don’t care, You like emo music at times, and loves shopping for strange emo fashion.You lan lan si si coz got mac. Your girlfriend is most probably a C.

    E= Edmund

    You cinta girlfriend you mendalam, tapi cinta tech you lagi dalam. Other than Edmund, I would predict anyone who falls in this category as girlfriendless (no, your computer cannot be your girlfriend). You are organized and rajin, and you kinda sorta get good grades!

    F=Ng Oon Yow

    Like games. Likes to voice out opinion yang hebat-hebat. God is answer to some, but most answers lie inside you. Loves God, family, girlfriend, and all who are close to you, but tries to squash others with bear hugs and other physical attacks.

    G= Tan Hua Fu

    Hamsap no 1 Dunia, you look at girls in class like nobody’s business and then make review on them. Stays at home because no transport. But home is good, cause got a lot of AV.

    H= Jason Tan Kin Wah
    Sad case. You are not lala, but everyone say you are lala. Just because you look, walk, talk, smell like one doesn’t mean you are lala. You are a bit on the rich side.

    I= I am Kok Wui

    You are bloody lost and confused. Are you even on the right website?

    Special Combinations

    Izmir or Xinch+ Oon Yow + Edmund or Anna or Jamie= KEVIN SOO!!

    Hua Fu + Jason= Tan Sek Hee!!


    Wednesday, December 26, 2007

    The Return of Colourwolf from Second Year, Second Semester

    Finally, Colourwolf was able to find some time to blog again after going through a SIOK!!! (aSsignments, colloquIm, prOm, Kaupeh) semester. As many have said:

    OMG, this semester is SOOOO HARD!!!
    I Hate this semester la
    I am so gonna FAIL!!
    I just got dumped
    I just got lucky
    Kok Wui, F u.

    this basically sums up the emotions about the semester for many of Colourwolf's coursemates. To him, he finally got a taste of University life. Now that is fun. He used people to get his assignments done, he manipulated lots of great people to do his chores. He acted weak to get to his goals. He applied Manipulative Psychology (Choo, 2007) and Applied Laziness (Ruck, 2000). He did not get a girlfriend. So that is how well it went for COlourwolf. He finally finds something challenging in University (other than the horrible jams they have...CHAU CIPAN!)

    Colourwolf wanted to blog about his life and the summary of the semester since he was missing for that period, but he got lazy again and decided to sum everything up. Writing this in Gurney Hotel in Penang, he is too lazy to post up PROM PICTURES or any pictures at all due to laziness to download (unlike you no lifes). So, if you are ready and willing, read up.

    Colourwolf started the semester motivated to get 2 A-, but ended up expecting 2B-, 2B
    He finally got his Recon Barricade.
    He used and manipulated a lot of people to get around this semester (it was mutual really...hehehe)
    He got a master (who is scary, and has cool talking keloid and abcess (tak tau eja))

    He won the colloquim presentation prize with his group of Master, Master's boyfriend, and Sex Slave yang tidak seksi

    Someone said he was hot
    someone said he was not
    Some called him a hot shot
    He played WoW a lot

    and some people thought he was in love
    Which is totally an assumption.

    And lastly, he co emceed prom. Which was a bloody success

    There you go. A summary of Colourwolf's semester. And as a last note. Please send ColourWolf the prom photos. He wants to see himself as a pixelated image.

    Wednesday, August 08, 2007

    A tribute to Namawee's Kuku (VERY LONG POST!! BE WARNED!!!)

    Colourwolf was on the net watching…uh…uh...videos! That’s right, anime videos online, when Mr. Artistic “Tenene”ed (the sound you hear when you get a MSN message) him.

    Mr. Artistic:Dey sohai, tengok ni, ada benda bagus.
    Colourwolf: Ok

    The link was to a MTV (yes it is) made by Namawee, Negarakuku.As a self proclaimed patriot, Colourwolf was a little offended by the title, but he has experience with Namawee’s nationalistic videos, thus he withheld judgment and expected something that would promote the country.

    He was amazed.

    The video touched on a few things that you would expect uncles in the local mamak to be talking about while talking cock with their friends.

    1. Police in Malaysia being corrupt by taking “duit kopi” (coffee money) and them being nice to after you pay them. And also it helps make the people’s life easier. (Acknowledged by the Government and Pak Lah, read: The “Saya Anti Rasuah” campaign and Pak Lah’s earlier vows.)

    2. Laungan Azan in the morning to for morning prayers and how it helped Malaysians not be late for work (true in a lot of places, but Malaysians are still late…).

    3. About how the Chinese should not make noise about the certain discriminatory policies of the government. Instead, they should prove themselves as resilient and capable by working things out by themselves.

    4. How civil servants are slow and inefficient, for example, you have to wait from 0500 to 1730 to get your IC done. (Acknowledged by the Government and Pak Lah, read: “senyum” campaign and papers few months back.)

    5. About how peaceful and tranquil the Malay way of life is, slow and relaxed, not like the hectic and busy life of the Chinese, and how the Chinese are envious of such lifestyle. (Acknowledged by Tun M in his book “the Malay Dilemma” and also by Yasmin Ahmad in the movie “Sepet”, where she said “all Malays are lazy” (not true, look at Idris Jala, MAS airlines CEO and Izmir Fariz, Citibank’s Paper Shredding executive).

    6. About how Chinese Private High School students being unable to get a place in the Local Universities, how they should not be angry at the government, instead should go out and see the world, learn, and come back to help Malaysia grow.

    Colourwolf did not expect any Chinese fellow from a Chinese High School who is in Taiwan to be so patriotic. Look at Leatherhide. Memang tapau sampai balik rumah. Namawee did a great job in promoting Malaysian values in his own way. Look at the number of hits (400000) and positive remarks he got!!!

    But this happened:

    WTF??? The nothing to do and too free people is not happy with this and they want to investigate. (They lazy to work on other cases cause they are boring, so they kena tiu by judge, by being commented “SLOPPY SIAL KERJA YOU!!!”

    Here are some comments by the VIPs that we listen to and what Colourwolf think.

    Deputy Internal Security Minister Datuk Johari Baharum:

    "We will have to look at it first to determine whether he flouted the law. If he has, we will act against him under the Sedition Act."

    Colourwolf says:
    Dear Datuk, can Colourwolf refer to you as Pak Jo? It sounds so much nicer, like Pak Lah.

    He did not commit any sedition. He in fact promoted unity and tolerance! The Chinese has been complaining day in and day out on how about 70% scholarships and local universities seats are given to the Bumis (cause about 70% of the Malaysian population is Bumi, ah duh.) But Namawee defended the government and told the Chinese to strive and excel without the government’s aid, and in return for other favours that the government has done for us (such as free schooling, skim susu, dan lain lain), return to Malaysia and help Malaysia grow! This is a message that MILLIONS have tried to convey and Namawee helped to bring that message further out (read: graduates not coming back to Malaysia by staying in their new country).

    The comments on Islam are also not offensive, as he is trying to be satirical. He meant to comment in a good way about the laungan Azan, and how it helped in waking Malaysia up. The one about the peaceful and slow Malay lifestyle is being praised, and according to Namawee, everyone should envy that sort of lifestyle, especially hectic Chinese people who is on the verge of succumbing to karoshi. About the slow, steady, and non-confrontational lifestyle of the Malays, Tun M have support his in his book, The Malay Dilemma. So please, consider these facts Pak Jo, when you are making a decision.

    Deputy Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Liow Tiong Lai:

    "There are so many other ways to be creative. If he had used another song instead of Negaraku, nobody would be criticizing him."
    "He’s actually trying to reflect on what he feels about the situation in the country. As a young person, he has his ideals, but he should protect the country’s honour and defend symbols like the national anthem."

    "He seems patriotic, but needs guidance to show his patriotism in the proper way,"

    Colourwolf says:

    Uncle Liow, you memang banyak comment. Haha. Colourwolf personally have a mixed stance on this. Yes, maybe Namawee should not have used the national Anthem; MAYBE he should have used Keranamu. But then, how many people can sing Negaraku like him? Look at the people singing it in schools. Principals have to stop and say:

    “Dey, nyanyi dengan semangat sikit. Kalau tidak you nyanyi lagi” (sing it with more passion, if not, you sing again.)

    Even if he had used another song, it would not have reflected on the country. And to foreigners, they might think that KeranaMu Malaysia is the anthem of Malaysia if he used that! And what proper guidance does he need? He is showing his patriotism even when he is in Taiwan. How many Malaysians you see proclaiming their love for their country when they are miles away? And from the song, he is coming back to serve the country!Anyway, Colourwolf thinks you made a point in your second comment. Hahaha. Good one Uncle Liow


    Just like what Namawee said in the beginning of his song, his words are like the durian, hard and spiky on the outside, soft and nice on the inside. It is true that he used a few profanities in the song, but he did it to make the song attractive. Compared to Colourwolf and the various types of uncles talking cock in the mamak, that is nothing. He also just presented a few issues that are acknowledged by the government (check the references Colourwolf included), and not raising bad issues or attempting to start a riot. We do not need the Sedition Act in this. These issues have been the talk of the town for years, and uncles in the local mamak talk about them with more anger and frustration but no means to help control these problems, unlike Namawee who used his song to tell the Chinese to just work harder and help the country grow. In fact, the Sedition Act should be used on these uncles instead (just a joke, do not take seriously, Colourwolf do not take any responsibility if this happens)

    And as a democratic country, Malaysia has the freedom of speech. And with the Government trying to promote an image that contrasts the control China has on their bloggers and the Net, let Netizens speak out. Namawee sang and spoke objectively, not like some idiots who twist facts and cincai shoot out anything without thinking and giving proof. Prove to the world that Malaysia is truly democratic and CUN!

    And please, let him finish his studies before you pull him back. He has shown his willingness to help the country, and if you pull him back, Malaysia will lose an asset. Let him be done with it, and when he comes back, lets see what he does before we becomes judges on who is errant. (Anyway, from his song, he obviously is not sponsored by the government)

    So, let Namawee do his thing. This song should be left alone. There is no better way of promoting patriotism than letting the Patriot sing out his love for his country. If we are truly advanced, we are able to listen to the song critically and not just judge it for what it seems.And also,


    Like Namawee, he is poor and defenseless, and is just channeling his views in a safe and conducive environment…

    PS: To any readers who want to repost this in their blog, go ahead, this it the only post Colourwolf allows you guys to copy and plagiarize. Or if you think that he is wrong, comment to let him know.

    Thursday, July 26, 2007

    Nokia inspired by the PEOPLE....of Motorola

    Another fine day, Colourwolf was looking at NST when he saw the news saying that

    People Are Nokia's Main Inspiration.

    They were talking about their new phone, Nokia N76

    Unless you have been living in Kampung Ulu Dalam's pedalaman, you would notice something. The similarity it shares with Motorola Razr (What Fking spelling is this) V3

    Either it is just Colourwolf or was Nokia's true inspiration Motorola? Or does Nokia only consider Motorola the people??? He is currently expecting a lawsuit or something to appear some day.

    He mean, LOOK at the bulge at bottom of the phone! The Flatness, the extra screen on the top shell, the button layout!!!

    Just for some fairness and justice, N76 has it own style...Just like that China brand Chaiiiina made car....which Colourwolf will keep a secret on which Chinese car (hint, a fruit on top of a cake). Wait, have you guys heard the controversy about that Chinese designed car???

    Wednesday, July 25, 2007

    Environmentalist Cipan

    So one fine day, Cipan Wolf decided to watch a video that has been in his hard drive for a long long time, but he did not manage to watch it because he had things to do (such as lying down, thinking bout Beautiful Liar, Watching TV). That video is none other than the infamous documentary about global warming, The Inconvenient Truth (BM translation: Tidak Mudah Punya Kebenaran)

    After watching this, CipanWolf (an environmentalist already) experienced this crap known as group polarization. He felt extra environmentalistic, cause he fears that he might have to live until the day the next Ice Age and great flood and all sorts of shitty environmental disasters come. He began to think (he doesn't do this often0:

    If that day comes when Greenland melts and the world is flooded, He would have to be damn rich to survive (hard to do)

    If the world becomes to hot to live in, people will die, and CipanWolf would feel sorry for those poor people

    Cipan Wolf should die young so that he does not have to go through this

    Cipan Wolf should do something so the world as we know it won't end at summer 2050 (where he will be 73)

    So like that la, he came out with these vows to help protect and cure the environment

    He will recycle...things that remember that he can recycle

    he will reduce CO2 by planting trees in his future mansion...and not tile the area around the house like some idiots that did not know doing that causes their house to heat up

    He will NEVER buy "The ****"(a certain newspaper) because it is filled with crap. (1 section of news with a lot of ads, 2 sections of ads nobody reads, Met** which is more crap and ads, **** Two which is comics and crap...)

    He will try not to use the air cond so often

    He will reduce the temperature in HUC

    He will start eating beef because cows cause global warming by farting

    He will stop farting

    Pressure China and US to stop producing so much CO2 from burning fossil fuels, especially China ( I have a thing against CCP (If you are a CCP spy/assasin/fan, please ignore that)

    He will make more vows and TRY to fulfill them

    To those who have not watch it yet, go get the documentary through whatever your means are (bit torrent la, apa lagi), and find out what is this crap about. To those who are caring for the environment, you are a bunch of sissies with a cause ( Cipan Wolf is different because Cipan Wolf is just making sure he dies before he sees it. Please people, for his sake, please grow up and take care of the temperature of the world.

    Tuesday, July 24, 2007

    I Banged My Car

    One fine day, ClownLegend decides to sit in front of his laptop to check his MSN, as well as see if anything funny was about to happen. And it happened. A certain MSN friend of his "banged" her car...

    And then on Friendster, another friend of his again "banged" her car.

    Not that Clownlegend is laughing at anyone on particular (by the way, he is), you just can't simply "bang" a car. For guys, how are you going to stick it in? (Keyholes, exhaust, muffler) How on earth are girls gonna get some fun out of the car? (gears, Handbrakes, ETC)

    ClownLegend then began to think, who came out with this horrible use of vocabulary. Usually in the case of a car, you hit something or something hits you, or you get into an accident. Or maybe another car BANG IN TO your car or vice versa.

    Then smart people began to "bang" their cars and boasting on the net.

    Girl 1: Hey, i banged my car
    Boyfriend: that Mother F*****, that is my girlfriend, DAM YOU PERODUA MYVI!


    Girl 2: Hey I banged my car
    Paris Hilton: Now that's totally HAWT, we should make a video of that

    ClownLegend does not know how to end this, either by a Kempen Kesedaran Bahasa or laugh silly, so he would just end for now.....bang car...what nonsense.

    Here's some midget Car Banging action...

    ColourWolf wants Attention

    People might think that ColourWolf is contradicting himself by doing the following

    Returning to Blogging
    Changed his blog layout
    Added a chatter box (for some strange reason, he doesn't even blog often)

    There is a reason tho. It seems that people actually make money by advertising in their blog. Thus they go all out and make their blog eye catching, nice, interesting, funny, crappy, a wholeloadacrap, bimbotic energy release, a bitch community, anti bitch community dan lain lain

    So , if people actually do make money by writing crap about their life, ColourWolf should be one of them right? After he is:

    (sila isi tempat kosong dengan perkataan yang sesuai/please fill in the blanks with suitble words)

    So here he goes. He needs money to buy his toys (Transformers movie Figure, Blackout) and money so that he can die in peace.

    Problem is, now that he has done all these crap...who would wanna advertise on this crappy blog? And how does he track the number of people who actually reads his blog? F!!!!!

    Now his money making scheme has all been crushed...

    Wednesday, July 11, 2007

    Colourwolf was Bored

    As the two warring factions try to end each other’s existence, two leaders were burdened with the responsibility of leading their army to victory. This is a war between two armies, two leaders, and one goal, to obtain the OWNAGESPARK from each other’s bases!!!

    On one side, the army has a direct strategy of war and life, the Cipanbots, lead by their leader, Hustimus Crime (although his name has the word Crime, he has not commited any crime, other than Hustling and Downloading songs, movies, porn, and other material online.)

    Hustimus Crime
    Optimus Prime, see the diff?

    And on the other side, the DeceptiChans, ruled by fear, loans and authoritarian loyalty, MegaChan rules his army with an iron fist, accepting nothing but blind obedience!!! MegaChan, not Megatron

    Megatron, not Megachan

    This is the story of the infamous “Battle of Wizz”, which took place in the dark land of Kepong Baru. As the army clashed, MegaChan and Hustimus Crime showed no mercy and started PAWNING NOOBS!!!! As MegaChan runs amuck in the ranks of the Cipanbots, Colourwolfotron shouted “ITS MEGACHAN! RETREAT!!!” (in the movie, one part Jazz said the same thing) Who will win, who will lose, who knows. As the war continues, much resources will be sacrificed to the land of Wizz…(to be continued)

    By the way, Colourwolf knows that you guys want to know who is who in this real life reenactment of Transformer wars. So here goesDeceptiChans
    Taukey= Tauzy
    Frenzy (because your voice is like him, and both also taukey.
    Mr. Hoh= Ho-scream!
    Starscream--Loyalty to dailou never dies!!! Especially in dota when u KSed him and said ‘teamwork”
    SilverFyre= Bak Eater
    Bonecrusher—Your claws grab meat one….
    Sotong= Black INK!
    Blackout= instead of helicopter blades, you have sotong tentacles.

    Cacing= Leather Hide
    Ironhide= both also Ngau hai
    Beruang= Bumblebear
    Bumblebee= sama sesohai and se-cute
    Turtle= Tiuchet
    Ratchet= both also healer…satu guna lazer, satu guna divine light.

    Saturday, July 07, 2007

    Day of Funny Thoughts.

    The Colourwolf always has funny thoughts, but this time, he decided to share it in his blog. Please be adviced that what you might read or see here will be very offensive and not suitable for your go away.

    Funny Thought No 1

    So today Anna gave Colourwolf a little book (Colourwolf thanks the Anna). And that book is about Christianity. No, Colourwolf is not converting nor is he being influenced by others (or is he??) The funny thing that pass through his mind was how well Jamie and Anna complemented each other, and how they were the best of friends (or are they??) from HMC till now. And after seeing and listening to Beautiful Lie by Shakira and Beyonce, Colourwolf though "OMG, JAMIE and ANNA!!!" (another person helped him in this process, he will not be named....or will he??)

    So from now on, according to George Kelly's personality construct theory, Colourwolf will always see Jamie and Anna as Beyonce and Shakira...(no perverted thoughts here.....or does it??)

    Funny Thought no 2
    The Fancy Schmancy Department of Psychology has hired 4 new student tutors, who strangely none of them are males. (Colourwolf NO 1 support this move and salutes HUC). So what Colourwolf thought after meeting them was, "hey, ok what? tak tua pun" (with this Colourwolf means that Colourwolf has a sinful idea in his mind). So then he thought "hey since the old Psychology Powerpuff Girls are leaving, we are promoting new powerpuff girls, and they fit nicely in coz they are so bubbly!!!" As some of you may know, Colourwolf made this up:-

    Ms CWN: Blossom
    J: Bubbles
    Pat: Buttercup
    ****: Bunny (aka that sister the others made)

    So now for the new one, he got this!!!!

    @@@: Bubbles
    ^^^: Buttercup

    OF course Colourwolf will not publish the names. He doesnt want to risk a law suit man. He is Fking poor and wants to keep his ass a virgin till he marries. (not to a gay, so sorry Professor JASR). So Please forgive Colourwolf if you find it offensive and tell him to take remove this shit. But he wont give a damn anyway. But he might remove it!! HE MIGHT!!!!!!!!

    Note: These thoughts happened during his Psy 207 Human Personality u wil know how Colourwolf did in this exam.....