Back in 1997 in the land of 1Negara.
Axpeeam: Argh shit. Stupid Jorge Solos brought down 1Negara's economy. Now the people are panicking.
Aunhua :That will seriously hamper our progress towards Perfect Vision. We need to calm the people, or at least divert their attention elsewhere. Now that the Important Multinational Funder is knocking at our doors, our books will be exposed if we don't divert the attention of the public!
Axpeeam: But how? This recession is so huge that most Tiger Nations are hurt. There can be no bigger news than the daily random sackings and unpredicted bankruptcies!
Aunhua :Well, a sex scandal would do the trick.
Axpeeam: Urgh, that is a bad idea. Sex scandals happen all the time. Just a few weeks also our friend in the White Crib was just caught with his pants down with his secretary. Nothing much also.
Aunhua : Well, we are more conservative. Let's get a powerful person to do it.
Axpeeam: Ok, go on...
Aunhua : And we make it a "konspirasi" thingy.
Axpeeam: Interesting...
Aunhua : Then we get his wife and supporters to start a riot and ask for change and reforms. Then get them to protest in a huge scale in Kaeyael. Ooo, that will help us use up our expired tear gas and weapons from the Riot-Which-Will-Be-Remembered-As-A-Date, allowing us to buy better weapons to scare our tiny neighbours to the South. See, we get to kill 3 birds with 1 stone.
Axpeeam: I like the sound of it, but it lacks...you know, a kick. A bang. A BOOM. AN ATTENTION GRABBER.
Aunhua: OH!! WE MAKE HIM GAY! WAHHAHA. WE can laugh all about it also. A POWERFUL fag being sent to prison. That should get the whole world looking.
Axpeeam: FANTASTIC! Now I can have more time to try saving the economy and keeping out the Important Multinational Funder. Good job. But, who are we going to frame?
Aunhua: Someone, Importand, Poweful, Charismatic. Someone, who is in line for big things in life, such as being the premier, yet ironically will lose everything. Someone, no one will believe is gay.
Axpeeam: *looks at Aunhua and smiles*
Aunhua : Mapet.....
The rest was history.
Fast forward to 2007-2008.
Buddawee: Yo sup!
Aunhua : You tell me. I was in there stuck being mistaken for a fag. You should see how many inmates were hitting on me. And not to mention the police HITTING me. Damn shit.
Buddawee: Ou...*stares at the floor looking dejected*
Aunhua : What is troubling you bro?
Buddawee: Well, a bubble just popped, and you should know how that will affect us.
Aunhua : Yeah. Damn, and they are our biggest customers. I bet a lot of our people will lose their jobs. Sad case huh. Such is Capitalism.
Buddawee : And yeah, I also have not been living up to Axpeeam's reputation as a leader. Sigh.
Aunhua : Yeah. Not many people can top that guy.
Buddawee : Well, I need something from you bro.
Aunhua : Yeah, what is i......Oh shit, not that again.
Buddawee : I am sorry, but then we seriously need this.
Aunhua : We just had a big Clean protest that day!
Buddawee : Well, that was a bad thing for me. It kind of hurt my reputation you know. Dude, I seriously need this. Please "backdoor" someone, please. I seriously need a news to divert this. I don't want to go down as the least contributing premier ever....
Aunhua : But this wont work again. The context is different.
Buddawee: We won't know if we don't try! Come on.
Aunhua : I JUST BLOODY GOT OUT!!!
Buddawee: Pretty please? *Pikachu eyes*
Aunhua : No, please. Mahai don't la. WTF. Woi. Deng. Jangan la. O FUCKING KAY LA. I just got this new assistant. But I tell you it won't work. If it doesn't I m gonna clear my name.
Buddawee : God willing it will! *Gleams*
God did not will it. It did not bring forth a major riot like the last time. God didn't find it funny this time. The Almighty did something to the elections. Buddawee was soon replaced.
2009
Aunhua : Yo Nut! Good job on the last AUM NO elections!
Nut Jeep: Haha, what job? It is expected la.
Aunhua : But still, you had a tough competition.
Nut Jeep: You did well too yo. I nearly loss my premiership to you! Kena PWN!
Aunhua : Aiya GG d la. My Ninth Month thing did not work out. Damn.
Nut Jeep: Cheer up dude. Always a next time. But I am on a roll man. I am carrying out reforms like nobody's business! Dam cool eh. Look at my approval rating!
Aunhua : Keep it up bro.
Nut Jeep: Dude, interested in another little project?
Aunhua : As long as it doesn't involve another backside, I am fine. Even my wife is beginning to believe the news. Damn.
Nut Jeep: Uh, I am thinking more like a little, you know, the peaceful Clean rally. We did not clean up all tear gas as before. Need to do some housekeeping.
Aunhua : THANK GOD. Alright I am in. Well, lets go with your most controversial law, the Involuntary Sudden Apphrension.
Nut Jeep: Uh, you think that will work? After all, it is quite boring since the last Third-Major- Race-Rally's arrest.
Aunhua : Ah nevermind la. Just wanted a kenduri ma. I will get the Religious party to lead it la.
Nut Jeep: How is the Involuntary Sudden Apphrension related to religion anyway?
The Fire-at-the-Moon party how?
Aunhua : Uh, they are kinda having an on off thing now. Cincai la deng.
Nut Jeep: I will get some opposition to your troops just in case la.
Aunhua : It will be a blast!!! Bet it will be fun, with water and smoke! Like a Pussycat Doll Concert.
Turns out, it was more of a Kenny G concert. The participants from Nut Jeep's side went to the PC Fair. The other side was feeling drowsy from lunch and went home after 1 hour and thirty minutes.
Wonder what is next.
Disclaimer: The author is a retard. He doesn't know what he is writing. This article has no reference to anything that happened in the real world, just things that happened in this retard's head. None of this is true and it is not a reference to any country in the world. Cerita ini rekaan semata-mata. Kalau ada sebarang persamaan dengan yang nyata, ini cumalah suatu kebetulan. This article may not even be true or exist. THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT EXIST!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
My 四奶奶 Story
Based on the TVB drama series "Rosy Business"
Chin Po Kei (aka Chin Lai Lai/Sei Lai Lai) was left with the burden of protecting the people of No Fail ( 無Fail) from famine and starvation when her husband passed away from sudden coronary heart disease that has no cure at that time. He left her his business, Hing Fung Assignments, a 100 year old business that deals with assignments. Her job was not easy, being the youngest wife and ahead of her time, she was faced with opposition from people with evil intentions.
First, is the eldest wife, Choo Fung Yi (aka Choo Lai Lai/ Tai Lai Lai) who is always looking to protect his, I mean, her own interest in the organization. She sees Sei Lai Lai as an opposition and a threat to her power in the family. She wants to keep the status quo, and views Sei Lai Lai's radical changes as a threat to that. She is a smart person, never taking the first step otherwise forced to, and is able to make use of people aroud her. However, she wanted to make sure that Hing Fung Assignments prosper, as it affects her too.
Second, the eldest son and supposedly heir to the family, Cheung Pit Jet, was brought up since young as a spoilt child. He is used to having power in Hing Fung Assignment, and treats the workers as inferior beings. Lacking in business skills, he always seem to be able to get Hing Fung Assignment into trouble. Also impulsive, rash, and easily angered, he acts without thinking, sometimes landing himself in huge trouble, only to be saved by his mother or Sei Lai Lai (who promised her husband to take care of him). Also a womanizer, he is seen to visit the local brothel in broad daylight and slept with his uncle's mistress, causing Sei Lai Lai to draw huge sums of money from Hing Fung Assignments to help him.
On the contrary, Chin Lai Lai are also aided by a lot of capable people, who defend, support, and help her put her plans into actions in her crusade to protect Hing Fung Assignments and No Fail.
Chai Sim, a refugee from a village devastated by a flood, met Chin Lai Lai by accident during a siege of refugees who was suffering from low marks, I mean, "starvation" on the products of Hing Fung Assignments. She, I mean, He later worked in Hing Fung Assignments as a coolie without pay. Using his wits, loyalty, and guts, he quickly rose from the lowly rank of coolie to Sei Lai Lai's right hand man. His dream was to be able to send 1 car 1 car thesis (一車一車 thesis) back to his thesis supervisor, Ooops, caregiver, Luk Po, who is suffering from famine. Luk Po was his anchor in life, encouraging him to go on no matter how hard life is. He have a very close relationship with Sei Lai Lai, defending her and endangering himself for Sei Lai Lai anytime, which makes people think that they are having an affair, which is illogical, as he had Graduation (a fatal infectious disease that all of No Fail citizens will get, unless they fail), making it impossible for Sei Lai Lai and Chai Sim to be intimate. To him, everyone in Hing Fung Assignments are idiots, except for Sei Lai Lai. He has a bloody feud with Cheung Pit Jet, Pit Jet sent assasins to kill him, but failed because of Chai Sim's deformity. Chai Sim once had the chance of killing Cheung Pit Jet, but Sei Lai Lai managed to persuade him not to. Chai Sim later died of the deadly disease of Graduation, however, his work is not forgotten to Sei Lai Lai and was forever enshrined in every hardcopy of Hing Fung Assignments's assignments that they did together.
Sei Lai Lai saw potential in Cheung Pit Mir Faris, the second son of the family, to lead Hing Fung Assignments because he is very close to the workers, respectful, and enjoys working and talking with the workers. However, Pit Mir Faris is very very very lazy, does not want to take responsibility of important duties, and rather enjoy himself with the workers of Hing Fung Assignments. He was gullible and easily cheated by people, and fears taking charge of things. He was later trained by Sei Lai Lai to take over, and he was able to change himself (in the series, not yet in real life) to become a successful leader of Hing Fung Assignments.
The local governor, Governor Mor (Mor 大人 ) is a greedy and selfish official in the city of No Fail. He would give good benefits to and bend the law for Tai Lai Lai because he gives him quality assignments, sorry, as long as SHE gives him heavy bribes. Governor Mor also seems to hate Sei Lai Lai because she is cutting back on Governor Mor's share.
However, the law is not always against Sei Lai Lai. Prince Liau (Liau 王) would help Sei Lai Lai anytime because he knows that Sei Lai Lai is helping the people, and because of this, Governor Mor would have to give face to Sei Lai Lai.
Pang Ling (not the Cantopop singer from Hong Kong, but that funnily evil character from Rosy Business) was the brother of the second wife of the husband of Sei Lai Lai, a logistic tycoon in No Fail, and an notorious underground mobster. He was in cahoots with Tai Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Jet, as the relationship benefited each other. He absolutely despises Chai Sim, and sees him as a worthless dog, nevertheless a formidable opponent. Tai Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Jet always look for Pang Ling to help them do their shady deals, as their status would not allow them to do such dirty work.
In the end, after Chai Sim's death from Graduation, Sei Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Mir Faris helped Chai Sim fulfill his lifelong wish, where every year, they would send back 一車一車 thesis for Luk Po, to which she is still marking today.
Disclaimer: This story is made up with half fact and whole lies. Some characters are put there because they are important characters of "Rosy Businesss". However, this does not means that the characteristics of the people that you think are linked to the characters in this story are not as described, but it also does not mean they are true. This is just for fun. So, like that la. To watch this story, please tune in to Astro On Demand channel 921-928 in year 3009 from 36 o clock to 48 o clock. Thank you.
Chin Po Kei (aka Chin Lai Lai/Sei Lai Lai) was left with the burden of protecting the people of No Fail ( 無Fail) from famine and starvation when her husband passed away from sudden coronary heart disease that has no cure at that time. He left her his business, Hing Fung Assignments, a 100 year old business that deals with assignments. Her job was not easy, being the youngest wife and ahead of her time, she was faced with opposition from people with evil intentions.
First, is the eldest wife, Choo Fung Yi (aka Choo Lai Lai/ Tai Lai Lai) who is always looking to protect his, I mean, her own interest in the organization. She sees Sei Lai Lai as an opposition and a threat to her power in the family. She wants to keep the status quo, and views Sei Lai Lai's radical changes as a threat to that. She is a smart person, never taking the first step otherwise forced to, and is able to make use of people aroud her. However, she wanted to make sure that Hing Fung Assignments prosper, as it affects her too.
Second, the eldest son and supposedly heir to the family, Cheung Pit Jet, was brought up since young as a spoilt child. He is used to having power in Hing Fung Assignment, and treats the workers as inferior beings. Lacking in business skills, he always seem to be able to get Hing Fung Assignment into trouble. Also impulsive, rash, and easily angered, he acts without thinking, sometimes landing himself in huge trouble, only to be saved by his mother or Sei Lai Lai (who promised her husband to take care of him). Also a womanizer, he is seen to visit the local brothel in broad daylight and slept with his uncle's mistress, causing Sei Lai Lai to draw huge sums of money from Hing Fung Assignments to help him.
On the contrary, Chin Lai Lai are also aided by a lot of capable people, who defend, support, and help her put her plans into actions in her crusade to protect Hing Fung Assignments and No Fail.
Chai Sim, a refugee from a village devastated by a flood, met Chin Lai Lai by accident during a siege of refugees who was suffering from low marks, I mean, "starvation" on the products of Hing Fung Assignments. She, I mean, He later worked in Hing Fung Assignments as a coolie without pay. Using his wits, loyalty, and guts, he quickly rose from the lowly rank of coolie to Sei Lai Lai's right hand man. His dream was to be able to send 1 car 1 car thesis (一車一車 thesis) back to his thesis supervisor, Ooops, caregiver, Luk Po, who is suffering from famine. Luk Po was his anchor in life, encouraging him to go on no matter how hard life is. He have a very close relationship with Sei Lai Lai, defending her and endangering himself for Sei Lai Lai anytime, which makes people think that they are having an affair, which is illogical, as he had Graduation (a fatal infectious disease that all of No Fail citizens will get, unless they fail), making it impossible for Sei Lai Lai and Chai Sim to be intimate. To him, everyone in Hing Fung Assignments are idiots, except for Sei Lai Lai. He has a bloody feud with Cheung Pit Jet, Pit Jet sent assasins to kill him, but failed because of Chai Sim's deformity. Chai Sim once had the chance of killing Cheung Pit Jet, but Sei Lai Lai managed to persuade him not to. Chai Sim later died of the deadly disease of Graduation, however, his work is not forgotten to Sei Lai Lai and was forever enshrined in every hardcopy of Hing Fung Assignments's assignments that they did together.
Sei Lai Lai saw potential in Cheung Pit Mir Faris, the second son of the family, to lead Hing Fung Assignments because he is very close to the workers, respectful, and enjoys working and talking with the workers. However, Pit Mir Faris is very very very lazy, does not want to take responsibility of important duties, and rather enjoy himself with the workers of Hing Fung Assignments. He was gullible and easily cheated by people, and fears taking charge of things. He was later trained by Sei Lai Lai to take over, and he was able to change himself (in the series, not yet in real life) to become a successful leader of Hing Fung Assignments.
The local governor, Governor Mor (Mor 大人 ) is a greedy and selfish official in the city of No Fail. He would give good benefits to and bend the law for Tai Lai Lai because he gives him quality assignments, sorry, as long as SHE gives him heavy bribes. Governor Mor also seems to hate Sei Lai Lai because she is cutting back on Governor Mor's share.
However, the law is not always against Sei Lai Lai. Prince Liau (Liau 王) would help Sei Lai Lai anytime because he knows that Sei Lai Lai is helping the people, and because of this, Governor Mor would have to give face to Sei Lai Lai.
Pang Ling (not the Cantopop singer from Hong Kong, but that funnily evil character from Rosy Business) was the brother of the second wife of the husband of Sei Lai Lai, a logistic tycoon in No Fail, and an notorious underground mobster. He was in cahoots with Tai Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Jet, as the relationship benefited each other. He absolutely despises Chai Sim, and sees him as a worthless dog, nevertheless a formidable opponent. Tai Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Jet always look for Pang Ling to help them do their shady deals, as their status would not allow them to do such dirty work.
In the end, after Chai Sim's death from Graduation, Sei Lai Lai and Cheung Pit Mir Faris helped Chai Sim fulfill his lifelong wish, where every year, they would send back 一車一車 thesis for Luk Po, to which she is still marking today.
Disclaimer: This story is made up with half fact and whole lies. Some characters are put there because they are important characters of "Rosy Businesss". However, this does not means that the characteristics of the people that you think are linked to the characters in this story are not as described, but it also does not mean they are true. This is just for fun. So, like that la. To watch this story, please tune in to Astro On Demand channel 921-928 in year 3009 from 36 o clock to 48 o clock. Thank you.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Catholic Church Statistics by Dan Braun
The Hidden Catholic Church is mean,
Everyone who does not agree with them are errors,
When you add up the dissent it is known as sum of errors,
The average amount of error among all the people who does not agree with Catholic Church are the STANDARD DEVIATION,
People who are 3 standard deviations away are outliers that does not matter because they are Muslims.
And
The t-test is to prove ur faith as a person who is going to hell or heaven.
Everyone who does not agree with them are errors,
When you add up the dissent it is known as sum of errors,
The average amount of error among all the people who does not agree with Catholic Church are the STANDARD DEVIATION,
People who are 3 standard deviations away are outliers that does not matter because they are Muslims.
And
The t-test is to prove ur faith as a person who is going to hell or heaven.
Thursday, May 07, 2009
A Critical Review of: Kinta
After procrastinating for so long, finally Knowolf decided to buy the local "action" flick Kinta (Original, mind you) to help kill time during the holidays. He was quite excited to watch it, seeing how Malaysia's northen neighbour has made great action movies (most probably attributable to the training the Red and Yellow shirts get from protesting). AN so with RM 15 gone in trade for this DVD, he happily ripped open the plastic, placed it in the DVD player of his Asus, and then spent 1 and a half hour watching the movie.
And the judgment?
WTF WERE THE SCRIPWRITERS BLOODY THINKING?
The movie had a few great fight scenes, especially the one with Mark Cheng (aka very well known Hong Kong 3rd Grade movie actor). The actors did quite well during the fight scenes, making it look really like a street fight with kung fu elements and every hit did seem very real. The bad guy did look really like a thug (with an ugly face like that, who wouldn't?)
HOWEVER...that is the only thing Knowolf enjoyed in the movie. Yes, although the core of every martial arts movie is the fights, this movie is plagued by what Knowolf calls the "Malaysian Chinese Movie Syndrome"
Symptoms of MCMS
1. All over the place script
2. Movie did not fall properly into its category
3. Using a lot of artsy fartsy movie making skills.
4. Certain funny things that you do not know whether it is good or bad in the movie.
The script was all over the place without focus. Knowolf didn't know that he was watching a flashback when it happened. Knowolf did not know who was the real bad guy.
Here is WHY
Half the movie is a flashback of what each character went through in the movie. 4 bloody charactes. Each with their own story and agendas. How the hell you would want to fit all of them into movie? It is only 1 and a half hours! The movie did not elaborate each character properly, neither did it give each of them a proper ending (Robin Ho died, so that doesn't count). BUT EVEN ROBIN HO WASN'T KILLED properly!!
Every Kung Fu movie follows roughly the sequence here:
Hero introduced.
Bad guys showed.
Hero meets trouble.
Hero trains.
Conflict resolved.
Each character was introduced properly with their characteristics and all, and also with their style of fighting. HOWEVER, their style of fighting did not show that prominently in the action scenes.
And then the baddies were shown. There were two guys, and Knowolf didn't know who is the baddest of em'all. One guy hated the other guys guts, and the main fighting lackey is in love with the princess of the movie. THAT IS ALL IS TOLD. NO RESOLUTION to whether the bad guys died or even LOST in that movie. NOTHING is said about the lackey's love for the princess or did he rape the princess's best friend while being drunk. NO RESOLUTION OR CLOSURE AT ALL.
Then the training part comes. In all martial art flicks, the main character would train and his improvement will be shown in terms of higher agility, better skills, etc. In Kinta, they were shown training, BUT it seems that there is no bloody improvement. The Malays in the movie were skilled pendekars, yet the Heroes only learnt how to use the blowpipe and only used it once. NO FLASHBACK of how their training helped....and in the end, as said before, the movie didn't end with any one dead or whether the baddies lost.
There should be a lot of fight scenes in a martial art film right? Knowolf was impressed with the first two fight scenes (especially when ninjas with parangs appeared, where Knowolf was reminded about how Malaysians kill each other) . HOWEVER, to save cost, these scenes were repeated as a flashback. WTF. Knowolf do not need to see the fight scenes again, he can rewind it anytime. SHOW SOMETHING NEW!!!
Movie Not Falling Into Its Category and Being Artsy Fartsy
Knowolf thinks that this is more like a artsy movie like Lust,Caution or directed by some guy who wants to be Ang Lee. There were the infamous "behind an object shot" and "black and white shot".
WTF is happening?
Why is there a table blocking the shot? All these artsy skills was used, and yet Knowolf did not know what the skills used are saying. Is this really a literal scene of "undertable dealings?" And now Knowolf thinks that this is not a martial arts film, it is more of an artistic movie with martial arts in it.
Funny Elements
The intro scene had great CG animation. It fitted the movie perfectly. HOWEVER, the "motivation music" (like Rocky's Eye of the Tiger, or the infamous Wong Fei Hung theme) is a hip hop item. WTF, they had hip hop back in 1881? This made the movie feel like the video game Def Jam Vendetta, where American Blacks fought each other with loud hip hop at the back. Didn't know if this was good or not...
Secondly, the blood. Look
Damn fake, but then it served its purpose in showing violence, and yet it is friendly with the kids...
Conclusion
It was an overall average movie with great fight scenes. However, the makers need to focus their plot more. DO RESEARCH ON HOW PAST MARTIAL ARTS FLICKS ARE DONE!!! Refer to Ong Bak 2!!! With the type of ending that would sending to counseling for unfinished business and lack of closure, make Kinta 2 please. We would really want to know if Patrick Teoh is gonna die...
PS: Knowolf think this post is too long.
PSS: Knowolf can critique this movie because he is a connoisseur of martial arts flick
PSSS: Knowolf would like to play a part in Kinta 2.
And the judgment?
WTF WERE THE SCRIPWRITERS BLOODY THINKING?
The movie had a few great fight scenes, especially the one with Mark Cheng (aka very well known Hong Kong 3rd Grade movie actor). The actors did quite well during the fight scenes, making it look really like a street fight with kung fu elements and every hit did seem very real. The bad guy did look really like a thug (with an ugly face like that, who wouldn't?)
HOWEVER...that is the only thing Knowolf enjoyed in the movie. Yes, although the core of every martial arts movie is the fights, this movie is plagued by what Knowolf calls the "Malaysian Chinese Movie Syndrome"
Symptoms of MCMS
1. All over the place script
2. Movie did not fall properly into its category
3. Using a lot of artsy fartsy movie making skills.
4. Certain funny things that you do not know whether it is good or bad in the movie.
The script was all over the place without focus. Knowolf didn't know that he was watching a flashback when it happened. Knowolf did not know who was the real bad guy.
Here is WHY
Half the movie is a flashback of what each character went through in the movie. 4 bloody charactes. Each with their own story and agendas. How the hell you would want to fit all of them into movie? It is only 1 and a half hours! The movie did not elaborate each character properly, neither did it give each of them a proper ending (Robin Ho died, so that doesn't count). BUT EVEN ROBIN HO WASN'T KILLED properly!!
Every Kung Fu movie follows roughly the sequence here:
Hero introduced.
Bad guys showed.
Hero meets trouble.
Hero trains.
Conflict resolved.
Each character was introduced properly with their characteristics and all, and also with their style of fighting. HOWEVER, their style of fighting did not show that prominently in the action scenes.
And then the baddies were shown. There were two guys, and Knowolf didn't know who is the baddest of em'all. One guy hated the other guys guts, and the main fighting lackey is in love with the princess of the movie. THAT IS ALL IS TOLD. NO RESOLUTION to whether the bad guys died or even LOST in that movie. NOTHING is said about the lackey's love for the princess or did he rape the princess's best friend while being drunk. NO RESOLUTION OR CLOSURE AT ALL.
Then the training part comes. In all martial art flicks, the main character would train and his improvement will be shown in terms of higher agility, better skills, etc. In Kinta, they were shown training, BUT it seems that there is no bloody improvement. The Malays in the movie were skilled pendekars, yet the Heroes only learnt how to use the blowpipe and only used it once. NO FLASHBACK of how their training helped....and in the end, as said before, the movie didn't end with any one dead or whether the baddies lost.
There should be a lot of fight scenes in a martial art film right? Knowolf was impressed with the first two fight scenes (especially when ninjas with parangs appeared, where Knowolf was reminded about how Malaysians kill each other) . HOWEVER, to save cost, these scenes were repeated as a flashback. WTF. Knowolf do not need to see the fight scenes again, he can rewind it anytime. SHOW SOMETHING NEW!!!
Movie Not Falling Into Its Category and Being Artsy Fartsy
Knowolf thinks that this is more like a artsy movie like Lust,Caution or directed by some guy who wants to be Ang Lee. There were the infamous "behind an object shot" and "black and white shot".
WTF is happening?
Why is there a table blocking the shot? All these artsy skills was used, and yet Knowolf did not know what the skills used are saying. Is this really a literal scene of "undertable dealings?" And now Knowolf thinks that this is not a martial arts film, it is more of an artistic movie with martial arts in it.
Funny Elements
The intro scene had great CG animation. It fitted the movie perfectly. HOWEVER, the "motivation music" (like Rocky's Eye of the Tiger, or the infamous Wong Fei Hung theme) is a hip hop item. WTF, they had hip hop back in 1881? This made the movie feel like the video game Def Jam Vendetta, where American Blacks fought each other with loud hip hop at the back. Didn't know if this was good or not...
Secondly, the blood. Look
Damn fake, but then it served its purpose in showing violence, and yet it is friendly with the kids...
Conclusion
It was an overall average movie with great fight scenes. However, the makers need to focus their plot more. DO RESEARCH ON HOW PAST MARTIAL ARTS FLICKS ARE DONE!!! Refer to Ong Bak 2!!! With the type of ending that would sending to counseling for unfinished business and lack of closure, make Kinta 2 please. We would really want to know if Patrick Teoh is gonna die...
PS: Knowolf think this post is too long.
PSS: Knowolf can critique this movie because he is a connoisseur of martial arts flick
PSSS: Knowolf would like to play a part in Kinta 2.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
DO NOT READ IF YOU CANNOT TAKE A RACIST JOKE
Today, Knowolf was driving out for a RM10 mixed ECONOMY rice in Taman Muda when he heard someone's name on the radio. So this certain someone is exceptionally famous in the Malaysian Tax Accounting/Auditing World, and as we know, the only people who can reach that type of status in Malaysia is a Chinese because:
1. The Chinese are money minded.
2. They are also the best in anything business related.
(Please consider the fact that the Chinese are the first in snapping up all the ASM units compared to the Malays who were to lazy and Indians who are to drunk*)
Now this once upon a time Knowolf had to survey lecturers for his thesis project, and this certain celebrity not only refused (Knowolf totally respected that), he slammed the door in Knowolf's face without saying anything. This person has written famous and well cited tax related accounting books, highly intellectual, and has great command of English, yet has the courtesy and politeness of a angry in heat alpha baboon whose partner was having an affair with the weak juvenile baboon from another pack.
Now contrast this person with this other person. During the same project, Knowolf went to IIUM (if you really want to know where, google it) and went to the Department of Arabic Studies. There was this Malay lecturer who was an expert in Arabic language, and yet had poor command of English. Although Knowolf said it is okay if he rejected to participate (total respect for consent), this lecturer insisted that he helped out even though he explicitly said that his English is poor. He tried his very best to answer, and did not hesistate to ask questions. He even offered Knowolf a candy after the survey. Halfway through, a Middle Eastern lecturer walked in to borrow a "kamus" (Malay and Arabic for dictionary, the only word Knowolf could understand) and spoke in Arab so well that Knowolf thought he had a lot of phlegm in his throat.
Contrasting this two person, both lecturers and professors locally, any wonder how Knowolf is a racist? You see, come on!!!
The Chinese guy fits perfectly into the Lansi, Kiasu, Money-minded Chinese stereotype.
The Malay guy with the ramah-mesra and the sweet-tooth.
HOW CAN KNOWOLF NOT BE RACIST!!! 1MALAYSIA, Beribu Warna!!!!
Disclaimer: The author realizes that there is use of racist stereotype in this post to invoke humour and thought, but not to disrupt racial harmony. The examples in this entry is a personal experience, and has not taken into account the mental and physical state of the person involved during the experience. The author hopes that everyone can laugh about it and not end up sharing a cell with Teresa Kok under Race Relations Act, only to be released at the next Prime Minister's installment.
*= only for comedic effect, not a true reflection of the people who are labled such races. These characteristics are synthesized from mamak jokes.
1. The Chinese are money minded.
2. They are also the best in anything business related.
(Please consider the fact that the Chinese are the first in snapping up all the ASM units compared to the Malays who were to lazy and Indians who are to drunk*)
Now this once upon a time Knowolf had to survey lecturers for his thesis project, and this certain celebrity not only refused (Knowolf totally respected that), he slammed the door in Knowolf's face without saying anything. This person has written famous and well cited tax related accounting books, highly intellectual, and has great command of English, yet has the courtesy and politeness of a angry in heat alpha baboon whose partner was having an affair with the weak juvenile baboon from another pack.
Now contrast this person with this other person. During the same project, Knowolf went to IIUM (if you really want to know where, google it) and went to the Department of Arabic Studies. There was this Malay lecturer who was an expert in Arabic language, and yet had poor command of English. Although Knowolf said it is okay if he rejected to participate (total respect for consent), this lecturer insisted that he helped out even though he explicitly said that his English is poor. He tried his very best to answer, and did not hesistate to ask questions. He even offered Knowolf a candy after the survey. Halfway through, a Middle Eastern lecturer walked in to borrow a "kamus" (Malay and Arabic for dictionary, the only word Knowolf could understand) and spoke in Arab so well that Knowolf thought he had a lot of phlegm in his throat.
Contrasting this two person, both lecturers and professors locally, any wonder how Knowolf is a racist? You see, come on!!!
The Chinese guy fits perfectly into the Lansi, Kiasu, Money-minded Chinese stereotype.
The Malay guy with the ramah-mesra and the sweet-tooth.
HOW CAN KNOWOLF NOT BE RACIST!!! 1MALAYSIA, Beribu Warna!!!!
Disclaimer: The author realizes that there is use of racist stereotype in this post to invoke humour and thought, but not to disrupt racial harmony. The examples in this entry is a personal experience, and has not taken into account the mental and physical state of the person involved during the experience. The author hopes that everyone can laugh about it and not end up sharing a cell with Teresa Kok under Race Relations Act, only to be released at the next Prime Minister's installment.
*= only for comedic effect, not a true reflection of the people who are labled such races. These characteristics are synthesized from mamak jokes.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Things Knowolf Know After Playing Pet's Society
Although not convinced Pet's Society is the right term to use for the program (the pets are incapable of forming a society, they are just avatars), Knowolf is in fact hooked on it because he has a weakness for leveling and grinding. However, through the game, he has learnt how to be a good butler, asshole of a friend, cute prostitute, diva of a bimbo, and big spender because he has learnt that:
1. Visiting your friends gets you money (much like borrowing relatives). Kissing them is the fastest way of making extra money...
2. Gay Pride is a-ok!!!
3. Your pets get an orgasm when u rub, brush, or clean them.
4. Every pet is a professional athlete.
5. Like Merryl Lynch and Lehmann Brothers, the bank encourages you to get more money from them and spend it all.
6. Unlike Merryl Lynch and Lehmann Brothers, the bank make money from that.
7. Throwing tantrums get your the food you want.
8. Some owners are serious crazy and love their pets.
9. Fighting is cute, funny, gives you money, and should be encouraged.
BEST OF ALL
10. Skin colour does not matter, whether you are yellow, black, white, brown, blue, magenta, turqoise.....Muhibbah beb.
So, thank you pets society for adding knowledge to Knowolf's library...
1. Visiting your friends gets you money (much like borrowing relatives). Kissing them is the fastest way of making extra money...
2. Gay Pride is a-ok!!!
3. Your pets get an orgasm when u rub, brush, or clean them.
4. Every pet is a professional athlete.
5. Like Merryl Lynch and Lehmann Brothers, the bank encourages you to get more money from them and spend it all.
6. Unlike Merryl Lynch and Lehmann Brothers, the bank make money from that.
7. Throwing tantrums get your the food you want.
8. Some owners are serious crazy and love their pets.
9. Fighting is cute, funny, gives you money, and should be encouraged.
BEST OF ALL
10. Skin colour does not matter, whether you are yellow, black, white, brown, blue, magenta, turqoise.....Muhibbah beb.
So, thank you pets society for adding knowledge to Knowolf's library...
Colourwolf is Changing to Knowolf
Yes, the title says it all. The title Colourwolf from today on will be replaced by Knowolf due to:
1. The increasing number of people who is using Colourwolf/Colorwolf as their internet nicknames. (try googling or searching for that name in that popular social networking website, you will realize it does not refer to the person writing this entry.
2. To reflect on the fact that the person writing this entry has more KNOWledge than the other 色狼 out there.
As you may have already know, the name Colourwolf was a literal translation of 色狼given to Clownlegend to honour his personality. But it seems to be losing its own uniqueness slowly since 2002 when the name was first given, and it seems to be time for the title 色狼 to regain its former lusture.
Instead of changing the spelling or adding hearts or anything lala on that name, Clownlegend decided to play with the pronunciation this time. 色 (colour) sounds like 识 (know). The reason this word is chosen is because it shows that Clownlegend knows more than the other people who declare that they are 色狼s out there (excuse the inflation of ego, but considering Clownlegend's achievements and the typical guys who sit in CCs randomly adding people on their MSN through Friendster, Clownlegend reserves the right to do so ). And 狼 will not be changed since that is bloody normal anyway. So there you go, a new name to refer to Clownlegend by...
识狼 =Knowolf (the w is taken out for it is redundant in the pronunciation,and because it is too long to type)
By the way, yes, Knowolf did see people in the cc going through people's obsolete social networking website and adding people to their online messenger just because their pics look good on that obsolete social networking website. Then they tried to chat up the girl, by acting busy with "work" and official business, potraying a rich and busy status. Knowolf though "wow, he must be a busy manager or something" too. Turns out he might just be selling DVDs in SS2 on monday.
1. The increasing number of people who is using Colourwolf/Colorwolf as their internet nicknames. (try googling or searching for that name in that popular social networking website, you will realize it does not refer to the person writing this entry.
2. To reflect on the fact that the person writing this entry has more KNOWledge than the other 色狼 out there.
As you may have already know, the name Colourwolf was a literal translation of 色狼given to Clownlegend to honour his personality. But it seems to be losing its own uniqueness slowly since 2002 when the name was first given, and it seems to be time for the title 色狼 to regain its former lusture.
Instead of changing the spelling or adding hearts or anything lala on that name, Clownlegend decided to play with the pronunciation this time. 色 (colour) sounds like 识 (know). The reason this word is chosen is because it shows that Clownlegend knows more than the other people who declare that they are 色狼s out there (excuse the inflation of ego, but considering Clownlegend's achievements and the typical guys who sit in CCs randomly adding people on their MSN through Friendster, Clownlegend reserves the right to do so ). And 狼 will not be changed since that is bloody normal anyway. So there you go, a new name to refer to Clownlegend by...
识狼 =Knowolf (the w is taken out for it is redundant in the pronunciation,and because it is too long to type)
By the way, yes, Knowolf did see people in the cc going through people's obsolete social networking website and adding people to their online messenger just because their pics look good on that obsolete social networking website. Then they tried to chat up the girl, by acting busy with "work" and official business, potraying a rich and busy status. Knowolf though "wow, he must be a busy manager or something" too. Turns out he might just be selling DVDs in SS2 on monday.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Buy a psychotee or an idea.
As a psychology major/psychologist, buy a t-shirt. Or else, you are not cool
Click this> http://psychotees.wordpress.com.
And for you who needs ideas and such, buy an idea from: http://brainmercenaries.blogspot.com
Click this> http://psychotees.wordpress.com.
And for you who needs ideas and such, buy an idea from: http://brainmercenaries.blogspot.com
Monday, April 13, 2009
Of Bloody FacadeTome and Annoying Questionnaires Share
t wasn't that annoying at first,
In fact it was quite fun.
Doing all the quizzes,
When there is nothing to be done.
And then when it buzzes,
it buzzed really loud.
Everyone wanted
to be nicely tested.
And then my facadetome was spammed,
by unworthy dirt.
And now it is really annoying,
to see the quizzes pop out.
This is what hell is like,
for serious psychometricians.
All you people,
forgot about validity.
And that is why,
All the quizzes are going crazy
I challenge all of you,
to prove the validity.
Costruct, Face, and Predictive,
Just show the stats to me.
And if it really works,
I recommend you keep it.
You could be making millions,
Selling your bloody quiz!
In fact it was quite fun.
Doing all the quizzes,
When there is nothing to be done.
And then when it buzzes,
it buzzed really loud.
Everyone wanted
to be nicely tested.
And then my facadetome was spammed,
by unworthy dirt.
And now it is really annoying,
to see the quizzes pop out.
This is what hell is like,
for serious psychometricians.
All you people,
forgot about validity.
And that is why,
All the quizzes are going crazy
I challenge all of you,
to prove the validity.
Costruct, Face, and Predictive,
Just show the stats to me.
And if it really works,
I recommend you keep it.
You could be making millions,
Selling your bloody quiz!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Pantun Buat Datuk
Di sini ingin Lagenda Badut mempersembahkan sebuah pantun buat tatapan orang ramai, dan ditujukan kepada para Datuk-Datuk, Datin-Datin, Ahli-Ahli Politik, Orang ternama dan orang ramai yang tidak ingin menjadi terkenal kerana hal-hal yang patut berlaku di dalam hidup peribadi sendiri.
Gajah dan singa sama berlari,
Sampai sungai gajah diterkam.
Walaupun sudah hangat berahi,
Aksi hebat usah dirakam.
Sungai tempat baju dicuci,
Air jernih pula dicemari.
Sebelum mula hebat beraksi,
Kamera ditutup bilik dikunci.
Angin meniup membawa sampan,
Singgah pula bawah jambatan.
Kalau ingin simpan buat tatapan,
Baik sedia kalau di"upload"kan.
Ada jambatan ada daratan,
Ada daratan ada bangunan.
Ada keinginan ada keizinan,
Ada keizinan ada perhatian.
Bangunan tinggi kebanggan negara,
"Lonely Planet" beri 5 "Star"
Anak gadis harus berwaspada,
Kalau tak ingin jadi "Net Star"
Majalah ditatap buangnya akhbar,
Berita hangat mulut membawa.
Cerita hangat mudah disebar,
Bila dah terkenal pasti kecewa.
Kalau mulut disalahguna,
baik diajar moral dituntun.
Kalau kisah telah dicerita,
Baik mengaku meminta ampun
Dengan ada budi pekerti,
Delima dilahir dari arang.
Buat salah muka dikenali,
Usah tutup mulut orang.
Harap pantun ini boleh membawa sedikit nasihat buat sesiapa yang membacanya
Gajah dan singa sama berlari,
Sampai sungai gajah diterkam.
Walaupun sudah hangat berahi,
Aksi hebat usah dirakam.
Sungai tempat baju dicuci,
Air jernih pula dicemari.
Sebelum mula hebat beraksi,
Kamera ditutup bilik dikunci.
Angin meniup membawa sampan,
Singgah pula bawah jambatan.
Kalau ingin simpan buat tatapan,
Baik sedia kalau di"upload"kan.
Ada jambatan ada daratan,
Ada daratan ada bangunan.
Ada keinginan ada keizinan,
Ada keizinan ada perhatian.
Bangunan tinggi kebanggan negara,
"Lonely Planet" beri 5 "Star"
Anak gadis harus berwaspada,
Kalau tak ingin jadi "Net Star"
Majalah ditatap buangnya akhbar,
Berita hangat mulut membawa.
Cerita hangat mudah disebar,
Bila dah terkenal pasti kecewa.
Kalau mulut disalahguna,
baik diajar moral dituntun.
Kalau kisah telah dicerita,
Baik mengaku meminta ampun
Dengan ada budi pekerti,
Delima dilahir dari arang.
Buat salah muka dikenali,
Usah tutup mulut orang.
Lagenda Badut
Harap pantun ini boleh membawa sedikit nasihat buat sesiapa yang membacanya
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A song for you
Colourwolf was happy,
when he turned on his lappie,
Went to the post,
and he thought he saw a ghost
Now the post is gone,
but the party is still on.
Listen to this song,
and the story it comes a long
Based on PCD's "I Hate This Part Right Here"
I hate the Longkang Post
Making up,
in the room,
gotta pick a blouse.
Singing soon,
to a crowd,
Gotta get it down
Saw a dress,
really cool,
really sexy too.
Changed it on
and was called up
(Chorus starts)
It is, your turn, to sing, to the big big crowd
Steped up, on stage, sang hard, but what the fuck...
I can't describe any further,
had to pitch higher,
thought that dress would cover,
But then it never.
Showed it to the camera,
heard everyone clamour,
Only thing that I can say is
I hate the longkang post...
I hate the longkang post...
Lewis hates longkang post...
We hate the longkang post
(Chorus ends)
Gonna call lawyer up,
and we're gonna sue.
Anyone who has viewed
or has spread it too.
Close the site,
ban the web,
and the author too,
No one will remember that
(Chorus)
I thought that dress would just hold on,
I can sing like there's nothing wrong.
Didn't realize it was not strong
Who knows that the cutting was wrong!!!
I can't describe any further,
had to pitch higher,
thought that dress would cover
But then it never
showed it to the camera
heard everyone clamour
Only thing that i can say is
I didnt know it,
I didnt know it,
I didnt know it,
What the fuck man
I didnt know it, I didnt know it, I didnt know it,
I hate the longkang post...
I just hate the longkang post
I hate the longkang post
Disclaimer: Colourwolf is not referring to an event at a certain concert during which a certain modified sweat gland was shown. He is also not inferring anything about a well known singer who is a Cat. Thanks
when he turned on his lappie,
Went to the post,
and he thought he saw a ghost
Now the post is gone,
but the party is still on.
Listen to this song,
and the story it comes a long
Based on PCD's "I Hate This Part Right Here"
I hate the Longkang Post
Making up,
in the room,
gotta pick a blouse.
Singing soon,
to a crowd,
Gotta get it down
Saw a dress,
really cool,
really sexy too.
Changed it on
and was called up
(Chorus starts)
It is, your turn, to sing, to the big big crowd
Steped up, on stage, sang hard, but what the fuck...
I can't describe any further,
had to pitch higher,
thought that dress would cover,
But then it never.
Showed it to the camera,
heard everyone clamour,
Only thing that I can say is
I hate the longkang post...
I hate the longkang post...
Lewis hates longkang post...
We hate the longkang post
(Chorus ends)
Gonna call lawyer up,
and we're gonna sue.
Anyone who has viewed
or has spread it too.
Close the site,
ban the web,
and the author too,
No one will remember that
(Chorus)
I thought that dress would just hold on,
I can sing like there's nothing wrong.
Didn't realize it was not strong
Who knows that the cutting was wrong!!!
I can't describe any further,
had to pitch higher,
thought that dress would cover
But then it never
showed it to the camera
heard everyone clamour
Only thing that i can say is
I didnt know it,
I didnt know it,
I didnt know it,
What the fuck man
I didnt know it, I didnt know it, I didnt know it,
I hate the longkang post...
I just hate the longkang post
I hate the longkang post
Disclaimer: Colourwolf is not referring to an event at a certain concert during which a certain modified sweat gland was shown. He is also not inferring anything about a well known singer who is a Cat. Thanks
Monday, February 16, 2009
Lei Song Mou?
Colourwolf started recording Cipan events because it is too funny to be forgotten. Hence, the Cipan archive is born!
Will be updated, but until the Cipans get bored of it.
Anyway, here are the videos recorded with a once-expensive-now-outdated Nokia 7610
Link to the Cipan Archives: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=4084697BCDF905F6
PS: NGO SONG NGAK!!
Will be updated, but until the Cipans get bored of it.
Anyway, here are the videos recorded with a once-expensive-now-outdated Nokia 7610
Link to the Cipan Archives: http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=4084697BCDF905F6
PS: NGO SONG NGAK!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
To all Assessment and Profiling Students out there
Tired of finding more participants to do your pilot test?
Long for an easy way to be done with those stacks of questionnaires?
Dream that your questionnaires will be given out by themselves?
LOOK NO FURTHER!!!
Introducing the revolutionary "Teknik MukaBuku""!
This technique eases your pain in giving out questionnaires and help you get the amount of participants you want!
Nevermind that is causes pain and suffering to all those who are spammed, as long as you get your work done!
Book a place now and learn how to get those questionnaire done by itself!
PS: Colourwolf does not endorses spam, unethical advertisement, forced questionnaire answering, betrayal, MukaBuku, Kawanster, Kentucky Fried Chicken, promiscuity, apartheid, Pakatan Rakyat, Barisan National, The Republicans, The Democrats, The Devil Wears Prada, Johnny Depp and Britney Spears.
Long for an easy way to be done with those stacks of questionnaires?
Dream that your questionnaires will be given out by themselves?
LOOK NO FURTHER!!!
Introducing the revolutionary "Teknik MukaBuku""!
This technique eases your pain in giving out questionnaires and help you get the amount of participants you want!
Nevermind that is causes pain and suffering to all those who are spammed, as long as you get your work done!
Book a place now and learn how to get those questionnaire done by itself!
PS: Colourwolf does not endorses spam, unethical advertisement, forced questionnaire answering, betrayal, MukaBuku, Kawanster, Kentucky Fried Chicken, promiscuity, apartheid, Pakatan Rakyat, Barisan National, The Republicans, The Democrats, The Devil Wears Prada, Johnny Depp and Britney Spears.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Ads on a certain Social Network Website
Colourwolf has been stalking a lot of people on a social network website because he has nothing to do for a long time already. One fine day, he discovered this...
Well, good luck guys.
Well, good luck guys.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Perintah Dijunjung
Atas perintah yang maha bossy kakak besar yang akan identitinya dirahsiakan, Lagenda Badut kini mengemas kinikan blognya untuk memuaskan nafsu kakak besarnya yang sentiasa memerintahnya menulis suatu artikel baru untuk blognya. Oleh sedemikian, terimalah pos blog yang ditulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia ini.
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